


Alexandria, Queen of the Amazons

by Almaviva47



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Amazon!AU, DC universe - Freeform, Diana will show up, F/F, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Queen!Lexa, Wonder Woman mythos, amazon warriors, and it will be precious, eternal love, family!Clexa, healer!clarke, ridiculously sappy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8176322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Almaviva47/pseuds/Almaviva47
Summary: Queen Alexandria of Themyscira and Head Healer Clarke Griffin have been in love for over two thousand years. Duty and residual guilt have prevented Lexa from fully committing herself to Clarke, but a fateful day arrives, and Lexa throws all caution to the wind. Their love for each other is eternal, and eternal it shall remain.Amazon!Clexa with the sappiest ending I could ever imagine. Inspired by the lore of Wonder Woman.





	1. A Greek Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This story is heavily inspired by the lore of Wonder Woman, but don't worry! You won't need to know much to still enjoy the story. This evolved from an almost-canon storyline by comic writer Gail Simone, and I reimagined it with Lexa as a Queen Hippolyta-like character. Expect one of the sappiest Clexa endings ever, because they are immortal and in love and you know what that means...*whispers* eternal love. Also Diana will be making a significant appearance later in the storyline for all you Wonder Woman geeks like me.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments fuel my soul!
> 
> I'm on tumblr now! [Come say hi](https://almavivadreams.tumblr.com)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa rises, loves, and loses all too much.

 

Before the bards sang tales of Boudica, Hua Mulan, and Joan of Arc, the great halls rang with the legend of Queen Alexandria and her Amazons. A nation that had thrived since the dawn of time, the noble women of Themyscira prided themselves on a society built on peace and sustained with strength.

 

Over millennia, the Queens of Themyscira ruled the Amazons with iron grace and complete devotion to her people. Through lineage or blessing, the line of Amazon Queens bestowed upon her people the core principles of truth, peace, and strength. The Amazons flourished under their Queens’ maternal gaze. Many followed tradition and dedicated themselves to becoming the fiercest warriors known in lore. Several kept their sacred island afloat by perfecting the medicinal arts, agriculture, and engineering. A select few were tasked to be the keepers of Amazonian history. It is only through their meticulous scripts that the legend of Queen Alexandria, the Queen who led the Amazons to a new era, came to pass.

 

The ascension of Lexa arrived as the new age of man began. Queen Becca, having served the Amazons into old age with quiet humility and grace, was eager to watch her ward bring new vitality to her people. The first few years under Lexa's rule revealed a Queen who placed her people before all else. Lexa was undoubtably special, and there were rumors that the gods had bestowed upon her divine gifts - intelligence, beauty, strength, and preserverence. In spite of her young age, Lexa possessed a wisdom and vision that few others, even past Amazonian Queens, could claim.

 

She was adored by the masses, but none loved her more than her childhood companion Costia. They grew up together, trained together, made mistakes together. While her people were always at the top of Lexa's priority, some could argue that Costia came a close second. There was an innocence and freedom in Lexa’s love for Costia that came from youth and idealism. And because Lexa loved with all her heart, she possessed all the elements that sustain such genuine love – forgiveness, vulnerability, and trust.

 

As time passed and men grew daring in their exploration of the world, Themyscira began to extend their reach as well. When news came that Hercules, champion of men and the gods, wished to visit the sacred island and pay his respects to Queen Alexandria, Lexa had granted permission with optimistic curiosity. She had long been seeking an opportunity to learn more about man and their world. Themyscira had been isolated for too long, and a nation stifled is a nation doomed to fail. What better way to learn the mankind's best qualities than from their blessed champion? Bolstered by Hercules' flourishing words and exuding praises, Lexa trusted that the gods could only have placed so many favors on a man that was honorable.

 

She was wrong.

 

A fortnight after Hercules and his loyal men set foot on the island, Themyscira found itself besotted and in ruins. Homes were sacked, sacred temples were desecrated, armories were ransacked and turned against their owners. The men fought cruelly and without honor, stabbing the backs of Amazons who had offered their homes. Healers were sought out and slaughtered to prevent any aid reaching their friends and lovers wounded in battle. What had first been a peace offering was mere a game for Hercules, a selfish and devious ploy to fulfill a superficial list of labors that would prove his masculinity and divinity.

 

The few Amazons who survived were chained and paraded like slaves amongst the crowd of jeering men. Even their beloved Queen was shackled and forced to kneel before Hercules in submission. In a moment that forever branded in her memory, Lexa watched as Hercules dragged Costia before her and laughed as he slowly slit her throat from ear to ear.

 

The pain that tore through Lexa the moment she saw the life fade from Costia’s hazel eyes was a pain she never imagined possible. Her soul tore itself to pieces inside her chest, the blood in her ears pounding so hard she nearly missed the cruel laughter of her oppressors. Somewhere deep inside her mind, Lexa wailed and screamed until her voice was hoarse. But she remained stone-faced and silent as Costia’s blood bled and stained the dirty clothes of her ruined garb. In that moment, there was only one thing Lexa on her mind.

 

With a strength unknown to Hercules, Lexa launched her chained body at the champion of man. With a howl escaping her lips, she sank her teeth into his sweaty neck and ripped his throat out.

 

The Queen of the Amazons rose above the gurgling husk of Hercules, her eyes feral and mouth stained with the warm blood of her enemy. With a ferocious cry, she snapped her chains apart, the shackles still bound around her wrists. Her Amazons, revitalized by the sight of their victorious queen standing over the body of their enemy, found the strength to rip their chains off one by one. Soon, every Amazon still standing stood tall and angry, their shackles hanging loose around their wrists as fury rolled off their shoulders like steam in cold air. The men who had carried themselves so arrogantly with hubris now shook with fear before the vengeful warriors. Lexa was the first to advance, stalking up to the crowd of men with a sword of a fallen Amazon clenched in her fist. Her demeanor was frighteningly calm as she approached closer and closer to the murderers of her people.

 

“P-please,” stuttered the soldier before her, his eyes wide and bulging with fear. “Please, f-forgive us.”

 

Lexa halted, her eyes landing on the man who looked on the brink of passing out.

 

“Forgive you?” Her voice was soft, so soft that the entire crowd before her fell silent in quivering anticipation.

 

“Forgive. You.” She repeated, her rage swelling like an angry ocean.

 

" _This,_ " Lexa snarled as she pointed her sword to the body of Hercules, “is your champion. _This_ is whom you choose to represent mankind. A barbarian, who came to my land under the guise of a friend, who deceived his hosts in their own homes, who burned and raped and slaughtered my people, who slit my lover’s neck like a _pig_!”

 

The men visibly shirked in the presence of the vengeful Amazon. Lexa reveled in their fear as her teeth ached for blood. “You have shown me the horror that is mankind. You are cruel, dishonorable, and full of hate. I was mistaken to have ever placed faith in you. Our blood has been spilt on our own land by your hands."

 

Lexa turned, her eyes skimming the hardened fury set in the eyes of her sisters. Her heart turned cold as all pity vanished from her.

 

"And now, blood must have blood."

 

Green eyes turned as grey as stone as she stared at her cowering enemy. Lexa still tasted the copper of the champion's blood on her tongue. She felt the weight of her shackles on her bruised wrists.

 

“You are not worth forgiving,” Lexa growled, bringing the tip of her sword under the man’s quivering jaw. “You are not worth saving.”

 

With a savage war cry, Lexa plunged her sword through his neck up to the hilt. She stood back, unmoving, as her warriors decimated the remaining men with cruel precision. The blood of her enemy ran over her bare feet. Lexa felt only emptiness.

 

 ~*~

 

The aftermath of the massacre brought forth the greatest change to Themyscira. The gods, as atonement for their lack of intervention and the mistake they had made with Hercules, granted the Amazons the gift of eternal life and peace. They shielded Themyscira from man’s world, rendering the island virtually undetectable by any man. Athena, Aphrodite, and Hera claimed the Amazons as their champions and granted them divine favors of wisdom, beauty, and companionship. And while Lexa was grateful for the happiness the gods gave her people, she harbored a residual anger towards her patrons.

 

Why had the gods refused to aid them before all was lost? Why, when Lexa had prayed and begged and cried for the gods to save her people, to save Costia, had her words fallen on deaf ears? Why would they grant her eternal life if only so she can mourn the loss of Costia for eternity?

 

Lexa had resigned herself to spending eternity forever in guilt, and she devoted herself entirely to the serving her people. Her naivety and her weakness had led her to blindly trust, and it had brought death to all she loved. Love is weakness, and she would not let it cause harm to her people ever again. Even if that barred Lexa from her own happiness.

 

For the next hundred years, Lexa ruled over the Amazons. She dedicated herself to teaching, fighting, and leading with a fair hand. She kept the manacles on her wrists to serve as a reminder of her failure and of the hatred of man, and many of the Amazons emulated their Queen and retained their shackles. They became so integrated into their culture that soon, Amazon gauntlets made of impenetrable metal were incorporated into their unique fighting style. Lexa watched her people move on and find joy in the simplicity of life. Yet her heart remained weary with the burden of the past and of her eternal duty, and her soul still ached from the love that was so cruelly taken from her.

 

The gods kept their words. They left the Amazons in peace, calling upon Lexa and her warriors only upon the most dire of mythological circumstances. Centuries passed, and never once did man appear on the horizon beyond the shore. But what did appear, on a not so special day nearly two hundred years since their promise, was most certainly _not_ a man.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed my prequel-esque first chapter! The next chapter will be posted tomorrow (I hope!) 
> 
> Some of you might be concerned about Lexa's attitude towards men. Her anger and hatred of men is justifiable given the circumstances, and it does follow the lore of Queen Hippolyta in the DC universe. However, I think it can put Lexa in a negative light and makes her less sympathetic. She will eventually come to trust mankind, albeit with heavy caution.
> 
> Next up - Claaaaaaaarrkeee Grrrriffffiiiinn! This chapter will be much bigger (3-4k), so I hope it will satiate your Clexa appetite!
> 
> I'm on tumblr now! [Come say hi](https://almavivadreams.tumblr.com)


	2. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious woman washes up on Themyscira for the first time in centuries, and Lexa is determined to find the reason behind it.

 

Lexa was the first to notice. It was the early hours of dawn, and the sun was still touching the ocean. Lexa rarely slept over four hours at night for the past  several centuries, and she was often dressed in her formal royal attire by the time the sun rose. She was gazing at the swirling pink, purple, and blue above the straight line of the horizon when her eyes snagged on something impossible.

 

For the first time in two hundred years, something was coming towards Themyscira.

 

It was a bump, a blip of an object that broke the sharp horizontal edge of the ocean. Lexa’s heart thumped in her chest, caution and alarm all but consuming her. Could man have found a way to breach the gods’ protection? Could Themyscira be on the brink of another attack? Would hundreds of years of peace be torn from them once again?

 

Quietly and urgently, Lexa summoned her black steed and rode at full speed towards the sandy shore. She left no messages before she left, not even for her Anya, her general of command. At an attempt to avoid conflict, Lexa decided to investigate the mystery herself. If it was simply a large piece of driftwood and there was no need to alarm her people, than all the better for it. And if it was something more sinister...well, Lexa could still trust in her centuries worth of martial training.

 

When she reached the shore, Lexa slowed to a stop and gazed again at the blip in the horizon. It had not grown much larger in size, nor did it seem like a large object. _It must be drifting_ , she concluded. Her uneasiness lifted a bit only to be replaced with curiosity. For several minutes, Lexa observed the incoming object, her patience wearing thinner and thinner as the object bobbed with unhurried motion. With a frustrated sigh, Lexa dismounted from her horse and began to unclasp her heavy red mantle. Her shin guards, sword, and sandals followed. Lexa wade into the chilly ocean, clad only in her black toga dress and her wrist cuffs.

 

She swam with deep powerful strokes towards the drifting object, the long distance and choppy waters barely fazing her. Lexa almost enjoyed the way her muscles burned were it not for the fact that she was approaching the first potential threat to Themyscira in centuries. As she swam closer and closer, she strategized every possible scenario, thinking of how many men she could overpower by herself, what weapons they may have, what maneuvers she could use to outwit her opponents. But never in her brainstorming did she lose sight of the looming target.

 

When the object was close enough for inspection, Lexa let out a small gasp of surprise. It _was_ a large piece of driftwood, but it showed clear signs of distress. But it was the woman lying unconscious atop the distressed vessel that sent a jolt through the Amazon's chest. Lexa approached slowly until she was nearly upon the makeshift vessel. Blonde hair was strewn haphazardly and covered the woman’s face. The tattered remains of a toga draped over her body with small patches stained dark brown with old blood. Lexa swam until she was right by the woman. With a tentative hand, she parted the blonde hair away from her face.

 

She was beautiful, with a face worthy of offerings to Aphrodite. The bruises and cuts that littered her face could not disguise the beauty she possessed. Lexa’s heart thumped unconsciously in her chest as she stared at the woman before her. Two fingers pressed just beneath the curve of her jaw. A pulse. Faint, but present. With a tenderness Lexa did not think she possessed, she wrapped her arms around the unconscious girl, making sure her head stayed above water at all times. She found herself holding the girl tightly to her, her right arm cradling and supporting the girl’s body weight. Lexa gently positioned the blonde’s head to rest against her shoulder, her face startlingly close to her own. Lexa spent just a moment longer gazing at the mysterious woman.

 

_Who are you?_

 

With the girl in tow, Lexa began to make her way back to the shore. Her eyes darted back numerous times back to the blonde, checking for any signs of consciousness. As soon as the water was shallow enough, Lexa shifted the woman’s body and cradled her as she walked up to shore. She eased the woman down on the soft sand, her hand supporting her head as she hovered over her. Lexa leaned forward and brought her ear down to the woman’s mouth. Still breathing. She drew back enough to gaze at the woman. Her eyes traveled over sharp brows, round cheeks, and a pair of full lips. Warmth spread throughout Lexa and warmed her chilled limbs.

 

 _Who are you?_ Lexa wondered again. _How did you get here?_

With her right hand, Lexa gently patted the girls’ face.

 

“Hey hey, wake up,” Lexa breathed, her chest still refusing to ease up on the demanding rhythm it established as soon as she laid eyes on the blonde. She continued to lightly tap on the girl’s face, the other hand gently massaging limp arms as if willing them to move. The girl jerked, lurching upward as if shocked by lightning. Lexa immediately pulled back as the girl hacked up mouthfuls of water before dissolving into a fit of harsh coughs. As the coughs subsided, the girl dropped her head back on the sand in exhaustion, taking several deep gasping breathes before her eyelids fluttered open.

 

Shocking blue eyes locked onto Lexa, and for a moment the Queen of the Amazons was rendered speechless. There was something alarmingly vulnerable being under the woman’s piercing gaze. Wide eyes grow wider at the sight of the damp Amazon hovering above her.

 

Lexa thought she understood eternity, yet in those precious seconds of green-blue connection, she felt time stop.

 

Suddenly, as if all the energy had been siphoned from her, the blonde girl went limp, her blue eyes rolling back as her head tilted limply to the side. Lexa sucked in a gasp of concern, all of a sudden realizing just how urgently the woman needed aid. With swift strength, she scooped the woman back into her arms. Carrying her as if she weighed no more than a feather, she lifted the woman onto her black steed before quickly mounting behind her. Wrapping a protective arm around the girl’s waist, Lexa let the girl lean against her front before urging her horse into a brisk pace back to the palace.

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

Clarke awoke to the sound of silence, her mind confused and foggy. She had been drifting in the sea, and for days all she could hear was the lulling crash of waves around her. Soft sheets and warm covers caressed her skin. Clarke nearly groaned at the slightest movement, her whole body aching and creaking like a poorly oiled machine. With the little energy she had left, she pried her eyelids open, blinking a few times against the blinding light. The most opulent room she had every seen came into focus, nearly stealing what little breath she had away. The elegance of the ceiling alone was unlike anything she had seen, and she had seen much in her young life. Blue eyes drifted down the marble columns, passed over weapons and armor, and landed on the sleeping figure seated beside her. Like a bolt of lightning, Clarke remembered.

 

She remembered the vague sensation of being dragged in the water, of itchy sand clinging to her exhausted body, of a goddess with green eyes hovering above her. That same goddess who was now sleeping gently in the cushioned chair beside her bed. A mass of brown curly hair fell to the side as she perched her temple on the palm of her right hand. Worn metal gauntlets wrapped around most of her forearms. Clarke followed a tan and toned arm to sculpted collarbones and a slender neck decorated with simple jewelry. Her silky dress, simple yet sophisticated, grazed the floor and cinched delicately at the waist. A slit along the side of her dress revealed slender legs that would certainly make Clarke blush were she not half dead.

 

Clarke’s eyes inevitably roamed back to the woman’s face. On her forehead lay a formidable regal headband that extended down below her ears. The curves of the gold metal were etched with meticulous care. Beneath lay a pair of strong eyebrows relaxed in slumber. She glanced over large closed eyes, high cheekbones, and full youthful lips. A sharp and slender jaw established regality in her features. The woman was young, that was sure. Clarke reckoned she could not be older than twenty-five. Yet beyond the smoothness of her skin and the youthful features, Clarke sensed something profoundly mature and world-weary amongst her features. _By the gods, she is beautiful._

 

As Clarke drank in the sight of the beautiful woman in front of her, green eyes snapped open and fell on Clarke. The woman made no sudden movements. There was an air of grace as she shifted forward, her body showing no signs of discomfort from her awkward sleeping position. Green eyes roamed across Clarke as if inspecting for wounds before connecting with blue eyes.

 

“Y-you…”

 

The words felt like gravel in her mouth. Clarke tried desperately to swallow the dryness away and failed. The woman’s eyes widened. Rising swiftly from her chair, she reached for the cup of water lying nearby on the table. She glided over to Clarke like a beautiful mirage before settling on the side of the mattress next to Clarke. Slender fingers wove their way to the back of Clarke’s neck, her hand strong as she gently supported Clarke and tipped the water into her mouth. Clarke sighed gratefully as the cool liquid flooded past her lips. Hands slowly settle Clarke back down after the cup was drained. Clarke closed her eyes in relief, the simple task already exhausting her. With effort, she opened her eyes to look to her caretaker.

 

“You’re the one who saved me,” Clarke whispered, her voice unable to restrain her awe.

 

Green eyes flash with curiosity before the woman answered.

 

“You’re the one who defied the gods.”

 

Clarke quirked her eyebrows, unsure of the meaning behind such words. A hint of a smile graced the woman’s lips as she let out a small huff of amusement. Just as quickly, a shadow of suspicion replaced it, her smile fading before she set her shoulders straighter.

 

“Who are you?” The melody of the woman’s voice turned sharper and as her tone took on a commanding air.

 

Clarke swallowed apprehensively. “My name is Clarke Griffin. I am a diplomat of the Roman empire.”

 

The woman arched her eyebrow. “A diplomat?” Her tone remained unconvinced.

 

Clarke nods. “In training. I was on my way to settle a land dispute between two warring states.”

 

Clarke fidgeted with her fingers nervously. "It seems like my journey ran off course," she continued, her attempt at humor surely a coping mechanism to stave off nerves.The woman before her bit back a smile.

 

“You’re quite young for a politician.” 

 

Clarke remained impassive at the dismissive question, as if she had been asked the same question far too many times. “I got a head start.”

 

The woman nodded, a smile threatening to appear on her lips for the third time as if amused by Clarke's daring nature. “How did you end up stranded in my waters?”

 

Clarke tilted her chin curiously at possessive phrase of her words. “I was on my way to the warring state after hitching passage with a cargo ship when the boat was raided. I managed to escape by jumping onto a torn plank of wood from the deck. I drifted on the sea for two days before weakness overtook me. I was sure I had died when I awoke. You see, I mistook you for a beautiful goddess, my lady.”

 

Clarke blushed, her head still dizzy from sleep. Her inhibition must have really taken a hit these past few days. The woman in front of her widened her eyes before schooling her features to a more neutral expression.

 

“So you happened upon our shores without any intentions? You did not seek us out?” Her voice regained a hard tone that edged on accusatory and suspicion.

 

“No. I do not even know where I am. Where are we?”

 

Clarke watched the woman brew over her answers. She stood up and paced away from the bed, her front facing the open balcony where the ocean lay beyond. A breeze blew wavy hair lightly from her face, and Clarke caught her breath at the sight. The woman clasped her hands behind her back, her posture rigid and regal. A moment passed before she turned back to look at Clarke.

 

“I am Alexandria, Queen of the Amazons," she announced, her voice proud and demanding respect. "You are on the island of Themyscira.”

 

The woman hesitated briefly, her chin tilting upwards. “You are safe,” she added, softer than before.

 

“Themyscira?” Clarke stared in disbelief. “But, no one has heard or seen of you for over two hundred years! We thought you had been lost to history.”

 

“Some things are better left undisturbed.”

 

Clarke’s head ached. A plethora of questions suddenly buzzed around her. Had Themyscira withdrawn from the world on purpose? How could they have hidden a whole island away from an ever expanding empire? The world grew fuzzy as Clarke struggled to understand. “But…how? Why?”

 

“That knowledge does not concern you,” the Queen replied cooly.

 

“But people have searched for you! Leaders, conquerors, great warriors have all sought out the legend of the Amazons. Even I wanted t-” Clarke suddenly paused as the dizziness tilted the room at a dangerous angle. Concerned green eyes shift in and out of focus as Clarke suddenly found it hard to breath.

 

“E-even…even I...”

 

Clarke heard quick steps and felt warm hands cup her face before the world went black.

 

 

~*~ 

 

 

When Clarke stirred and opened her eyes, the sunlight had shifted and now cast long shadows across the room. Several hours must have passed since she was last awake. It was nearly sunset now. Her eyes drifted over to movement in the corner. The Queen was leaning over her table, a candle illuminating scrolls and books as she careful rearranged them. She wore the same crimson mantle over her white toga dress, but now light and decorative armor adorned her torso and waist. The beauty and grace of the warrior before her made Clarke gasp. Green eyes darted up at the sound, her eyes finding Clarke awake and alert.

 

“Clarke,” the Amazon said softly. Clarke shivered at her name rolling from those full lips. “Are you well rested?”

 

Clarke swallowed trying to get her heart to stop beating in her throat. “Yes, I am. Thank you, your Majesty.”

 

“Good,” Queen Alexandria straightened and walked towards the bed. “I have matters to discuss with you.”

 

“I hope I did not keep you waiting. It seems as if you haven’t left at all. I wake up, and you’re here. I fall back asleep, and you’re still here,” Clarke nearly whispered the last few words as the Amazon approached closer and closer to reach her at the side of the bed.

 

She glanced at Clarke, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Yes, I am. I do not often spend much time in my chambers, but the unique circumstances of today have shifted my priorities.”

 

Clarke’s eyes widened. “This is your room?”

 

Queen Alexandria nodded, her face giving away nothing. Clarke continued to stare incredulously around her. She forced the heat away from her face when she realized she had been sleeping in the Queen’s bed. “Thank you, your Majesty. I do not deserve such hospitality.”

 

“It is as much for me as it is for you,” the Queen noted. Clarke went rigid at the implication as a heat sparked low in her body.

 

“I am quite vigilant regarding potential threats to my people,” the queen added. Clarke relaxed, albeit it was tinged with disappointment.

 

“I promise that I mean you and your people no harm, your Majesty," Clarke assured. "I swear on my honor as a diplomat and as a woman.”

 

The Amazon glanced away, as if suddenly unsure of herself. A strange mixture of longing and fear flashed across her face before it vanished. Silence hummed between them.

 

“Lexa,” she murmured finally, suddenly sounding younger. “You may call me Lexa.”

 

Clarke was startled at the request. _Lexa_ , Clarke repeated in her head. Such a simple name for such a complex woman. It was strangely charming.

 

“You asked me earlier why Themyscira has been hidden away for so long,” Lexa continued. She shifted away from the bedside to pace languidly at the foot of the bed. "I feel it just to tell you in order for you to understand what I must do with you."

 

Alarm coursed through Clarke at the words, yet the Queen seemed neither malevolent or threatening in her stance. She listened with bated breath.

 

“We once extended our hands to man’s world hoping to learn from one another. Man took our hands and placed us in shackles to claim a selfish title of dominance.” Lexa raised her hands to display the dull metal bonds still encaging her wrists. “We paid an unspeakable price."

 

“After, the gods granted us immunity from mankind so that we may never again suffer at their hands. We are granted eternal life and the promise of eternal peace. No one has come upon these shores since. No one, except for you.”

 

Lexa stopped pacing and turned to look at Clarke. The blonde, clearly overwhelmed by her situation, could only stare back and marvel at the immortal being before her. Lexa shifted on her feet, as if suddenly uncomfortable under Clarke's unwavering gaze, before regaining her posture with a stiffened her back and tilted chin.

 

“While you still remain a potential threat, I have seen no evidence of ill will within you," Lexa continued as she resumed pacing. "The gods have allowed you live and reach our shores. You, Clarke Griffin, were sent for a reason. Until I discover that reason, you are to remain by my side so that I may keep a watchful eye on you.”

 

Lexa stared hard at Clarke, and from that gaze she understood that her stay was non negotiable despite the amicable accommodations provided. Clarke gave a small nod for her answer. The Amazon's shoulder released some tension at the lack of conflict in the blonde.

 

“In exchange for our hospitality, I would like you to tell me of man’s world," the pensive look on Lexa's face seemed genuine. "I may be grateful of the gods’ protection, but that does not mean I wish to remain ignorant.”

 

Clarke nodded again, her mind scrambling for words when she realized that the Queen was waiting for an answer. “Of course, Your Ma – Lexa,” Clarke replied, silently relishing the intimacy of using the Queen’s common name. “I owe you my life. The least I can do is tell you what I have learned in it.”

 

Lexa hummed in agreement. A small smile graced her lips in her pleased state, and they widened imperceptibly as Clarke answered with a smile of her own. Lexa walked back to the bedside to sit down on the edge.

 

“Rest now, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, her eyes soft and tender. Hands twitched before they were clasped atop her lap. “Man’s world can wait until tomorrow.”

 

Clarke obeyed, closing her eyes and nodding sleepily, all of sudden aware of just how tired her body was despite her prior rests. Just as she drifted off, she felt the brush of slender fingers on the back of her hand. That night, Clarke dreamt of forests the color of emerald.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for meet cute! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter :) Next chapter will get real sappy and will span the next decade of Clarke and Lexa's life. Childsplay for immortal beings haha.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments fuel my soul! Please let me know how I'm doing. It really encourages me to write more.


	3. Paradise Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke explores Themyscira and it's mysterious Queen. New relationships are established and old relationships get closer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay, but I am happy to say that the next chapter is written already and is perhaps one of my favorite things I've ever written. The chapter would have been way too long and cumbersome if I combined the two, but at least you won't ahve to wait long for the next update!

Clarke had never been a prisoner before, but she was pretty sure that no prisoner was treated quite the way the Amazons treated Clarke. Initially, the Amazons were predictably hostile and suspicious of the castaway. But soon, Clarke was on the receiving end of endless curiosity and, in some cases, eagerness. It was as if they had received permission after observing their Queen’s rather passive approach to Clarke’s threat status. Surely if Queen Alexandria did not fear Clarke, neither should they.

 

True to her word, Lexa remained fastidiously at Clarke’s side, her green eyes constantly fixed on the blonde stranger. She remained aloof and distant from Clarke, much to Clarke’s curiosity. Lexa’s grace and regality had shone clearly upon their initial encounter. But this side of Lexa, the rigid, standoffish, and detached leader of her people, was all new. Clarke observed it, cataloged it, and stored it for a future conversation. As alluring and tempting as Lexa was, Clarke was not going to prod and poke around places she shouldn’t. She may have seen a softer more intimate side of the Amazon, but Clarke never forgot that the woman who shadowed her could end her with her pinky finger.

 

Lexa surprised Clarke with the amount freedom she granted her. Within several weeks after her arrival, Clarke was allowed to roam most of Themyscira unrestrained under her watchful eye. Over the next several months, she eagerly explored the legendary island and was met with nothing short of enthusiasm.

 

Raven, the Amazon’s expert blacksmith and metalworker, was particularly pleased to discover Clarke’s keen eye for detail and design. The artisan gifted a simple yet exquisitely crafted silver necklace that Clarke accepted only after Raven reassured that she had the rest of time, literally, to make another.

 

The flirtatious tone did not go unnoticed, and Lexa, who had been admiring a set of elegant swords and lances, stilled and shot a look at Raven as sharp as the daggers beside her. Raven, brash and far too courageous, merely winked at Lexa before returning to her kiln. When they left, Clarke noticed Lexa walking closer to her than before.

 

Clarke befriended Octavia, the Amazon’s chief breeder and animal caretaker, upon discovering her majestic horses grazing on the green meadow beside the hanging cliffs. Clarke had always been fond of horses, and in spite of her respectable position she was often denied a horse of her own as a woman. Apparently, it was deemed indecent for women to sit so high upon a horse above the common people. Octavia, predictably enraged by this news, immediately offered riding lessons atop the most beautiful white mare, much to Clarke’s delight.

 

Clarke was, predictably, a poor rider. Her balance was completely off. Her nerves were constantly on edge while the great beast below her shifted and twisted. To Clarke’s added embarrassment, Lexa had decided to join her. She rode atop her great black stallion, her light armor and crimson mantle flowing majestically in the wind as she trotted next to Clarke. With gentle corrections and quiet murmurs of encouragement, Lexa guided Clarke as she fumbled her way around the riding pen. The glorious image of the Queen of Amazons relaxed and amused while the wind blew back wavy hair burned into Clarke’s memory. She remained utterly flustered the rest of the lesson, choosing to blame the permanent blush on her cheeks on her embarrassing riding.

 

But the one thing that enthralled Clarke’s curiosity the most and set her heart racing was the training arena. The fighting skills of the Amazons have been told in legends that extended back hundreds of years. Coordinated, precise, and indefatigable, the ferocious warriors of Themyscira had no equals in the world. No one could match the individual deadliness of an Amazon warrior, and together they were unstoppable.

 

Clarke was eager to witness these women. Her admiration for them had begun long ago in childhood, when her father had told her time and time again of the fierce warrior nation. She was nearly giddy with excitement upon her arrival at the hallowed training grounds. While most of the Amazons greeted Clarke with enthusiasm, Lexa’s general, Anya, and her lieutenant, Indra, remained aloof. Their primary concern regarding the safety of their queen and the martial protection of Themyscira gave them healthy pause regarding Clarke’s seemingly innocuous presence. The idea felt utterly ridiculous to Clarke. Nevertheless, she stayed far away from any weapons for now. Provoking the severe looking women seemed unwise, even with Lexa around.

 

Despite her well-prepared expectations, Clarke is still stunned. The Amazons were impeccable in nearly every way, a result of having centuries to hone their skills. Each woman, beautiful and strong, moved through her training with her own individual style. It was more art than combat. Clarke now understood why some parts of the world considered it an honor to die at the hands of an Amazon.

 

But nothing in Clarke’s wildest imagination could she have imagined the moment when the Queen of the Amazon stepped into the ring. Lexa had stripped herself of her maroon mantle, revealing her warrior attire complete with a gleaming breastplate and a flexible skirt made of matted leather lappets. The war paint smeared across her eyes only enhanced her already imposing figure. Her crown still sat proudly on her forehead, serving both to keep her hair from obscuring her vision while reminding those around her of the duty she bore.

 

Clarke remembered the day on the beach, even in her hazy dehydrated state, the stunning beauty of the Amazon Queen. She remembered opening her eyes to see a vision of Aphrodite herself, cast in glowing light from the sun behind her, her green eyes shining with concern and wonder. She remembered how tender and gentle Lexa was as Clarke healed. Lexa had an aura of serenity about her. Clarke marveled at how this person before her could encompass the best qualities a person should have…

 

But that same woman now stood before a dozen elite warriors with a sword and shield in her hands. The gentleness and tenderness were all but gone. At that moment, Alexandria, Immortal Amazon Queen, Slayer of Beasts, and Liberator of Themyscira, made ready for a fight. As she eyed her opponents, Lexa couldn’t help the slight upturn of her lips as she shifted her balance on her toes.

 

As glorious a sight as it was to see the Queen smile, Clarke was not fooled. Behind those gleaming green eyes and mischievous smirk lay the most dangerous woman on earth.

 

The realization sent an exhilarating spark through Clarke that settled low in her stomach. Blue eyes never left Lexa as she took down her opponents blow by blow. Sparks flashed between clashing swords, fierce war cries pierced the air as lances and axes were smacked away like ragged dolls. Clarke had never seen such a dichotomous combination of grace and deadliness, and yet it was not fear that coursed through her body.

 

It took nearly a whole two months for Clarke to not immediately heat up thinking of Lexa, sweating and victorious, shooting her a blazing look of complete primal dominance.

 

Clarke eventually found herself in the infirmary after Lexa accompanied her beaten warriors to the healers. She immediately found a kinship with the art of healing and the head healer, Niylah. Her encouragement and protectiveness over her patients reflect what Clarke had often felt when she found herself the only one defending a persecuted state. Clarke shouldn’t be surprised. Diplomacy was like the healer of politics. It seemed only natural the Clarke should find such an affinity towards the actual healing arts considering her upbringing.

 

Clarke ended up spending the most time in the infirmary, learning the vast and advanced knowledge of medicine the Amazons had procured over their lifetimes. She slowly began making a life on the sacred island. She found her calling in medicine, found a faithful group of friends who introduced her to life in paradise, and of course, she had Lexa, who hovered but never smothered. Over time, she noticed Lexa giving her more and more freedom, and soon Lexa’s presence was not so much a necessity as it was a decision. Clarke was glad of it, though for what reasons exactly she dared not voice. At least not yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the first time in decades, Lexa was surprised. Of all the things she had expected to catch her off guard (a wayward Cyclops, an angry god, a friendly Anya), she certainly did not anticipate a blonde shipwrecked girl. Clarke was incredibly disarming. Not only was she as beautiful as Persephone, but she possessed a core of inner strength few had. The girl found herself stranded in an unknown land surrounded by unknown women and completely removed from the world she knew. Yet here she was, courageously taking in her new world with tremendous success.

 

Lexa’s instincts screamed for her to treat Clarke like any other threat, but everything else yearned to get closer to the girl. Clarke had shown no signs that she was a threat. It was quite the contrary. Clarke was completely fascinated by Themyscira and greatly admired the Amazons. Her respect for Amazonian customs and their beliefs made Lexa’s heart flutter with surprise and kindled long-lost hopes of finding likeminded nations outside of Themyscira.

 

Clarke’s arrival fazed Lexa. Her arrival was an impossibility, something that should never have happened. Was it just a mistake made on the gods’ parts? A technicality with semantics and wording?

 

 _No_ , Lexa thought, _they learned from their carelessness in the past._ If Clarke was able to reach Themyscira’s shores, it could only mean that the patrons permitted it. Clarke was here for a reason, and Lexa was set on discovering them.

 

What Lexa was not expecting, however, was how attached she had become to Clarke. As time passed and they grew closer and closer, Clarke evoked forgotten emotions Lexa had long sought to avoid. Try as she did to temper down these feelings, Lexa could not seem to stop herself from seeking Clarke. Lexa recognized, not without apprehension, how similar she felt around Clarke as she had with Costia - the pleasant warmth that settled and grew in her chest when she was with Clarke, the ache that it left when she left to serve her duties, the fluttering in her stomach upon catching Clarke’s gaze. And yet it lacked the naivety of her first love. With Clarke, she found a connection so deep and profound it would take years to fully explore. All Lexa had was time, and for the first time in many years, she was glad of it.

 

Nonetheless, Lexa did not ignore her duties as the protector of her people. She inquired extensively about man’s world from Clarke. Predictably, mankind seemed just as violent, rash, and without honor as it was centuries past. Lexa could clearly see the conflict in Clarke’s eyes when she spoke of the outside world. While Lexa had wanted to press the issue, it was clear that Clarke wasn’t ready for that conversation.

 

Unsurprisingly, Lexa was subjected to her own slew of questions. Clarke, if anything, was exceptionally bright, and with that intelligence came an intense curiosity to learn more about the Amazons, about Lexa. Lexa had contemplated to great depths about how much she should reveal to the blonde. She eventually settled on being as open as she was allowed to. Technically, Clarke was her prisoner (though she despised that description more and more every day), and she would not be able to leave the island and spread its secrets without Lexa knowing.

 

Lexa told Clarke everything she was privy to – the ascension of Amazon queens, of Costia, of Hercules and the massacre that befell them. She told her of Themyscira’s abandonment of hope in mankind, of their divine protection and gift of immortality. Clarke had nearly wept at the cruelty, and Lexa’s heart ached to know that her story was the cause of such pain. But Clarke had to know. Themyscira, for better or worse, was her home now, and she needed to understand why the Amazons were the way they were.

 

But understanding did not mean acquiescing, and Clarke, if anything, was stubborn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was an exceptionally beautiful afternoon. Lexa had decided to visit Clarke at the infirmary after finishing her morning councils. The two women often sought each other out for quiet conversations and musings. They found themselves strolling in the forest on the outskirts of the main temples. Clarke gazed around the illuminated forest, her eyes catching the vibrant green leaves freshly sprouting from old branches. The whole forest seemed to sparkle as the sunlight caught on dust and pollen from freshly bloomed flowers.

 

“This place, it’s like paradise,” Clarke sighed, her eyes closed and blissful as hands brushed through stray leaves. “Paradise Island.”

 

She opened her eyes to catch Lexa unabashedly staring at her. She was walking next to her, her posture as regal and graceful as ever with her hands clasped behind her back. Her green eyes sparkled as she smiled contently at Clarke. Clarke’s heart stuttered before she returned a small smile of her own.

 

“You know, I think you’ve accomplished the impossible. You lead a people who possess advanced knowledge, but thrive on simple living.” Clarke plucked a lavender flower from its stem to twirl in her fingers. “Most societies I ran into as a diplomat used power and knowledge to generate conflict.”

 

Lexa hummed in agreement. “We may be a nation of warriors, but our ultimate desire is peace.”

 

Clarke smiled before letting out a small chuckle. “If only everyone was as loving and visionary as you.”

 

Clarke and Lexa continued to amble over roots and knots, a comfortable silence falling between them. Clarke, however, fell into deep contemplation. Her thoughts were treading on dangerous ground, yet they had been pestering her ever since she learned about Themyscira’s self-imposed exile from the world. Clarke turned to her head to find Lexa looking at her inquisitively. She raised her eyebrows, her expression asking a silent question. Clarke took a deep breath to steady herself before diving off the deep end.

 

“Have you ever considered entering back into the outside world?”

 

Clarke winced as Lexa stiffened beside her. Her pace faltered for just a second before resuming as before, though with less ease than before. Clarke scrambled to regain her favor.

 

“There is much you could teach them.”

 

“We tried that once only for it to end in tragedy. Once is enough.”

 

“But is it?” Clarke countered, a critical edge lacing her question. Lexa clenched her jaw at the accusatory tone but stayed silent. Clarke took it as a signal to continue.

 

“I’m not saying you and your people are not justified to feel the way you feel, Lexa. The pain you felt, the cold-blooded hatred you endured, it is not something I could ever comprehend. And I would not blame you if you rejected mankind indefinitely.”

 

Clarke let out another deep sigh, her thoughts whirling in her head like a storm.

 

“But it was one experience. One horrible, nightmarish experience, but nonetheless just one. Is it fair to judge an entire society based upon the acts of one heinous demi-god?”

 

“And how has mankind changed?” Lexa retorted. “Your stories have shown me a world of petty and emasculated men who only know violence and power as a solution. What goodness have you to show in their defense?”

 

Clarke almost shirked back at the anger in Lexa’s voice. She hated doing this, hated tearing open old wounds when they clearly never healed. But her conscious gave her enough conviction to push on.

 

“Mankind is messy. It is imperfect and naive, far from the paradise of this island. They make mistakes and hurt those who were unfortunately enough to be there when it happens. But men can still be good. Decency, loyalty, and love still exist in the chaos. Emperors who feed their poor, warriors who grant mercy, fathers who protect their daughters…”

 

Clarke’s voice drifted as her thoughts landed on painful memories. She tried her best to swallow the rising emotions she had fought for so long to suppress.

 

“My father was a good man.” Clarke began, a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. “My father was a _great_ man. He was one of the few decent and uncorrupted high diplomats in the Empire. He believed that few conflicts could be not be solved without the right words, and he proved that again and again for years.”

 

Clarke dared a glance at Lexa. While her eyes were still hard, her face had softened. Clarke had never mentioned her father before in prior conversations. Talking about him left Clarke entirely too vulnerable, and Lexa was already doing that enough on her own.

 

“He was the one who encouraged me to become a diplomat. Ever since my mother died, he shouldered the responsibility of raising me. You can imagine the upheaval he received when he brought me on his trips. But he refused to let the other men barrage me. ‘A woman deserves the place of any man if she is capable of the same feats,’ he would declare, his hand always resting comfortably on my shoulder.” Clarke released a shaky smile, her eyes feeling the familiar sting of incoming tears.

 

“He truly believed that mankind was always striving to be a better version of itself. He was always the idealist, believing that everyone had the potential to be good. He believed that the truth was the ultimate weapon, stronger than any fear or hatred used to fuel men into battle. He taught me to have faith in humanity, even when it’s lost faith in itself.”

 

Clarke couldn’t prevent the tremor that leaked into her voice. Thinking of her father was too much. All the love he had for mankind, for the best that mankind could be, all dashed away by a gruesome illness. For a man who loved life, the irony of his end was not lost on Clarke.

 

“I have seen the horrors mankind inflicts upon itself. But I’ve also seen enough good out there to give me hope. Hope that mankind can change and be better. Hope that one day, the world will finally be what my father always dreamed it would be. _You_ have given me that hope. I have to believe we can achieve this, Lexa. That hope is the only thing I can hang onto of my father, and I refuse to let cruel men take that away from me.”

 

Clarke could no longer hold in her tears. Wet splashes fell down her cheeks as she tried to sniffle away her emotions. Suddenly, Lexa was in front of her. Hands cupped her jaw, gently raising Clarke’s eyes to meet hers. Green eyes swam with concern and guilt as Lexa peered deep into blue eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke let out a damp laugh as calloused fingers wiped the tears away. “I’m not usually like this. It must be all this reminiscing. I can’t seem to control my reaction to pain as well.” Clarke shivered as the fingers drift down her jaw and rest at the tip of her chin. “Or any emotion, really,” she added with a whisper.

 

She locked eyes with Lexa, and her heart fluttered at her proximity. They were so close, closer than they’d ever been. She felt fingers brush her chin. The intimacy and tenderness felt natural and instinctual, like she and Lexa had done this a thousand times before. Clarke’s eyes darted to parted lips, and she saw the Amazon do the same. It would be so easy to just close the distance and satisfy the ache that pressed hard against Clarke’s chest. After a breathless moment, the Queen of the Amazons jerked back as if she too had come to the same realization. Clarke tried not to let the disappointment show on her face.

 

“I apologize, Clarke,” Lexa continued, her eyes guarded but sincere. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It was not my intention to cause you any more pain.”

 

“You didn’t, Lexa,” Clarke shook her head, her eyes falling upon the Amazon’s concerned expression. _You couldn’t._

 

Lexa nodded, a frown still set on her full lips. Silence fell as Lexa struggled over how to respond. Her jaw shifted as if chewing on unspoken words.

 

“It’s not that I don’t respect your opinion, Clarke. In fact, I value it highly. You are clever, loyal, and wise far beyond your age,” Lexa paused, her eyes drifting. “But you must understand, we are the way we are because of what we’ve suffered in the past, and I am the way I am because of what my people need in the future.” She sighed, her eyes finally meeting Clarke’s again.

 

“It’s not the Amazons that are not ready for the outside world. It’s the outside world that is not ready for us.” Lexa peered hard into Clarke’s eyes to gauge her reaction.

 

“Lexa, I’m not asking you to dive straight back into the world right now,” Clarke took a step forward, her hand posturing in front of her. “I’m just asking you to consider it.”

 

A hefty pause hung between them. Clarke could almost feel the tension between them growing by the second. Lexa worked her jaw for a moment, unsure of what to say. A minute passed before the silence is finally broken.

 

“Maybe.”

 

The terse answer sounded cynical and reluctant, but Clarke nearly sagged with relief.

 

Lexa’s face was stern and serious, but a glimpse of playfulness flashed across her face.

 

“In a millennia or two.”

 

Clarke let out a groan as Lexa laughed, the mood between them suddenly shifting to something lighter. A truce then, Clarke thought. It was the best she could have hoped for.

 

Clarke sneaked a glance at Lexa, who still had a smile plastered across her face. She caught her looking at Clarke before shaking her head with exasperation. Lexa took a few steps forward to close the gap between them. Her hand brushed Clarke’s back lightly sending shivers down Clarke’s spine. The hand pushed gently, urging her to continue walking. Clarke gladly acquiesced.

 

They had reached the edge of the forest to overlook the ocean across the cliffs. The sight was stunning, even for Lexa, and she had been gazing at that horizon for much longer. She heard Clarke release a wistful sigh.

 

“My friend Wells would have loved this place,” Clarke inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of saltwater in her nose. “He was a member of the Egyptian court. He hated the desert and told me multiple times how he longed to see the ocean. I always intended to take him when we met again.”

 

Lexa didn’t miss the longing that colored Clarke’s words, and she hated the jealousy that rippled through her body. She shouldn’t be so concerned about a girl she just met who grew up in an enemy world. And yet, the simmering feeling pestered Lexa. Clarke was too good and too beautiful inside and out to be corrupted and scarred by the man’s world. The world beyond didn’t deserve a woman like Clarke. A woman like Clarke deserved paradise, and Lexa could give that to her. She could give her the peace and love that was so unique of Themyscira for as long as Clarke wanted it. The question was - would she want it?

 

“Do you miss it, the outside world?” Lexa asked tightly. Dread coiled in the pit of her stomach as she anticipated Clarke’s answer.

 

“I miss aspects of it, certainly.” Clarke replied honestly. Lexa’s body stiffened beside her. Clarke didn’t notice, her mind busy reminiscing about old friends and mentors who mostly likely thought she was dead. “But everyone I truly cared about is gone. You found me, literally, when I was untether to the world.”

 

Lexa relaxed slightly, though perhaps not as subtle to evade Clarke’s keen gaze. Her eyes softened, a warm affection glazed over her emerald eyes. “And how about now? Have you found something worth tethering to?”

 

Clarke sucked in a quiet gasp as her heart jumped in her chest. She pushed down the fluttering birds in her stomach as her mind jumped to conclusions. Lexa couldn’t possibly be flirting with her or implying anything beyond, could she? Clarke blamed her barely controlled attraction towards the Amazon Queen for her blatant misinterpretations.

 

Clarke cleared her throat and looked away shyly, her face unable to stem her growing smile. She chuckled softly, merely a chuff of air, as her hand tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. In that moment, Lexa thought Clarke was the most exquisite sight she’d seen in a long time.

 

“Hmm yes, I believe I have,” Clarke answered, her mirthful eyes flickering back to Lexa. “As long as Amazonian ambrosia exists for my consumption, I have reason to live.”

 

Lexa let out a glorious peal of laughter, her smile threatening to split her face in half. She leaned into Clarke, her eyes full of playfulness as she observed Clarke’s dazed expression at their sudden proximity. Lexa’s lips were just inches away from the shell of Clarke’s ear as she replied, a sudden husk in her voice.

 

“I’m sure that can be arranged, Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter coming up tomorrow!
> 
> As always, kuddos and comments fuel my soul!


	4. Divine Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably one of my favorite chapters I've ever written. That is all I have to say.

Clarke integrated in Amazonian life with ease and grace. It was unsurprising, given Clarke’s nature. She was a warrior in every sense of the word. She had battled constantly against those that had disparaged her and those who wished to abandon all context of peace in favor or blood and violence. She had survived the death of two parents and still wandered the world with optimism and hope. She belonged on Themyscira just as much as any Amazon, and no one questioned it.

 

Clarke had been given her own room in the main temple, just a few rooms down from Lexa’s own bedroom. She had initially refused to take it thinking the room was far to excessive and above her status than she desired. Lexa’s thinly veiled reasoning about maintaining her vigilance around Clarke remained unconvincing. Clarke, however, did very much enjoy the prospect of being so close to Lexa. She had felt inexorably drawn to since the day they met, and thus her protests were mediocre at best before agreeing to take the room.

 

Clarke’s conversation with Lexa about mankind did not disappear from her mind entirely. But Clarke had come to realization that Lexa had been more than generous in her ambiguous answer. Clarke’s upbringing with her father had left her with a skewed perspective of the world. She had been raised by the best man she had ever known, and thus it was impossible for her to loose faith in mankind as Lexa had when doing so would be dishonoring her father’s memory. But even Clarke could not deny the disappointment she had experienced in her life. Man was the only animal to stumble upon the same stone twice. The same mistakes made over and over again had chipped away at Clarke’s idealism, and the more she thought about it, the more distant her hope became.

 

No, Clarke would never lose faith in mankind. But on this paradise island of beautiful, strong women, Clarke could definitely use some time away from it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was late morning, just an hour before lunchtime. Clarke had been on Themyscira for nearly a year. She had found her place in the infirmary, taking care of wounded warriors after brutal sparring sessions and providing the occasional herbs or potions for recreation. With so little actual fighting for Amazons, they took pleasure to new heights as an equally rigorous and satisfying activity.

 

The wind was brisk and sent shivers down Clarke’s spine as she busied herself arranging the bandages and poultices in the infirmary. The cloudy sky seemed to dampen the vibrancy of the island. While it was not unheard of for Themyscira to have a rainy day or two, today felt as if the spirit of the island was off.

 

Clarke had been trying to shake off the sluggish feeling when she heard the heavy doors creak open. Clarke felt her mood shift in excitement. Lexa usually visited her around this hour after her morning council ended, and Clarke couldn’t help the way her heart began to race at the thought of being with Lexa again. She turned around, a smile already creeping on her face when she caught sight of the entrance. The smile immediately fell. Clarke’s eyes widened in shock when they landed on the normally imposing and graceful Queen of Amazons bruised, bloodied, and limping in battered armor at the doorway.

 

“By the gods, Lexa! What happened?” Clarke nearly sprinted over to the entrance and quickly ushered the injured warrior inside. She arms opened automatically to support Lexa. Fear and worry grew in her chest when Lexa leaned into Clarke with little hesitation. She gently guided Lexa to an empty cot, all the while trying to ignore the tingling sensation up her arm as she held Lexa’s waist. Lexa’s face was set in a tight grimace as labored breaths came out in short puffs. Nonetheless, her pained expression was more occupied with annoyance than genuine concern over her wellbeing. Clarke hoped that was a sign that Lexa was not in any true danger.

 

“I’m alright, Clarke,” Lexa muttered, her face tilted to look at Clarke as she helped settle her onto the cot. “I have had far worse.”

 

Clarke ignored her as she looked over the injuries, her brows tight with concern and her lips releasing disapproving ‘tsks’ upon each newly discovered wound. Some were only superficial cuts and bruises, but other injuries looked red and angry as they continued to ooze blood through the worn armor. A grim frown set on Clarke. She had seen Lexa take concussive blows in the arena that had hardly fazed her, let alone leave a bruise. What could have possibly inflicted this?

 

“Stop that,” Clarke ordered gently as she swatted away careless hands brushing away dirt and blood from wounds. Raising her eyebrows at Clarke’s gall, Lexa complied obediently and stilled, choosing instead to gaze at the blonde in front of her.

 

Lexa’s armor was removed with meticulous caution. Even so, the action released a small groan from the injured Amazon that made Clarke wince. Clarke palmed tattered and burned cloth that poorly concealed a number of injuries. Her hands automatically went to untie the ruined toga before she realized what she was a doing. Clarke immediately dropped her hands, but not before she heard Lexa take a sharp inhale of surprise. A furious blush burned across Clarke as her heart pumped rapidly in her chest.

 

“I-I’m sorry I should have -” Clarke stammered, her eyes refusing to meet Lexa’s as she tried to look at anything other than the beautiful woman in front of her.

 

“No, it’s” Lexa swallowed, uncharacteristically lost for words. “It’s alright. You – you have my permission to continue.”

 

Clarke nearly fainted at the husk in Lexa’s voice. She gulped, her heart still beating furiously as heat rushed through every part of her being.

_Great Hera, give me strength._

 

With as much composure as she could muster, Clarke continued the task of slowly removing Lexa’s torn dress away. Little by little, skin both smooth and bruised was revealed. Wraps were covering Lexa’s chest, thought perhaps they were slightly skewed from excessive movement. Clarke didn’t know if she was more disappointed or relieved at the discovery. She’s not entirely sure how she would have reacted if that wrap weren’t there. Hopefully with dignity, but she doubted it. The haze clouding Clarke’s mind gratefully cleared as Clarke took stock of more and more injuries.

 

“This couldn’t have just been a sparring session gone wrong,” Clarke murmured, gently probing claw marks and palpating acid burns trailing down Lexa’s chest and torso. Lexa let out a small laugh, her green eyes alight with amusement as they followed Clarke.

 

“Just because we Amazons are safe from man, does not mean we are safe from danger,” Lexa explained, her eyes still fixated on the blonde now tending to her injuries. “The gods call upon the Amazons only when situations are most dire. We are their best warriors, and only we can be trusted to handle the likes of Gorgons, Hydras, and Chimeras.”

 

Clarke shot her a look, her blue eyes clouded with worry and confusion. She was not so surprised at hearing these monsters truly existed. Rather, a chill settled over her body as she remembered how myth had described these horrid monsters. Even given the exaggerations of tales, these beasts should not be trifled with. Hands wrapping bandages shook with just the slightest tremor as images of Lexa battling giant monsters and damned creatures plagued Clarke’s mind.

 

“But why must you go? Why not send Anya, or Indra, or any of your other warriors?” Clarke tried to keep her voice steady and hoped that Lexa remained unaware of how worried she was. Her heart had lurched when she first saw Lexa bloodied and limping unsteadily towards her. Her pulse still raced with fear as she tenderly wrapped her wounds. She felt more than saw the heady gaze Lexa shot towards her. Clarke was too afraid to look in fear (or in anticipation) of what she would see in those stormy green eyes.

 

“A Queen should not send her warriors into a battle that she is unwilling to fight herself,” Lexa automatically replied, as if she had repeated this mantra many times over. “My duty is to my people, now and always.”

 

“And I don’t doubt that for a second,” Clarke continued, her eyes flickering up to Lexa as she cleaned the last of her wounds. “But your people love you. They would be very upset if something happened to you.”

 

Clarke swallowed, her next words lodged in her throat as her mouth fumbled over nervous and bubbling feelings.

 

“I…I would be very upset if something happened to you,” Clarke confessed, her breath constricting in her chest. Clarke felt Lexa freeze beneath her. Clarke’s body filled with dread. She was about to hastily withdraw and put a mile of distance between her and Lexa when she felt a warm hand fall on top of her own. She chanced a glance back up to find Lexa staring. The heat and intensity of her gaze made for a stunning picture that took Clarke’s breath away. She couldn’t look away, even when she felt the calloused hand squeeze gently.

 

“Then I will do everything in my power to come back to my people,” Lexa reassured, her gaze growing tender and warmed Clarke from head to toe. “To come back to you.”

 

 

 

\--

 

Lexa remained adamant that Clarke learns how to fight. If there was anything she could offer, it would be her unmatched skills as a warrior. They start slow, with lighter and dulled blades. Stances are taught and techniques are mastered one by one. Cheeky glances and proud looks are exchanged as Clarke’s proficiency improved at a remarkable rate. Soon, as Clarke’s training extended from weeks to months to years, their sparring sessions become a spectacle to behold. Every strike and attack vibrated with thick tension. Each blazing gaze shared between Clarke and Lexa oozed a carnal and hunger fueled by an unspoken desire for dominance. Every session left both women flushed and wanting for resolution in any shape or form. They lay in their respective chambers, body sore and aching for vastly different reasons, and yet the line was never crossed.

 

 

\--

 

 

They fall asleep together, shoulders touching, fingers brushing, and heads resting against one another. It is not a rare occurrence, and both Clarke and Lexa actively make sure it stayed that way. They first played it off as pretense that it was a happy accident, a moment of tiredness and laziness that ended up in warmth and comfort of each other’s embrace. But very quickly, that pretense was abandoned as Clarke and Lexa willing sought each other out for that familiar and wonderful feeling of waking up next to each other. They met in libraries, in grassy fields, in living rooms, no words said between the two of them. Everything that could possibly be said was given through hands caressing arms, legs bumping against each other, and hands finding each other and intertwining. Neither woman dared yet speak about what exactly they were to each other. For now, it was enough to just be together and ignore how much they affected one another. It would all come to a head, they were sure of it. But for now, it was enough.

 

\--

 

It was the way Clarke’s blue eyes crinkled when she laughed. It was the way Lexa’s long fingers gracefully brushed over the text in history books. It was the way Clarke’s mind reasoned and debated complex issues of morality and judgment. It was the way Lexa never disparaged or dismissed based on trivial factors of age and experience. It was the way both women saw and understood each other so deeply and fundamentally that broke that invisible barrier. By the time they realized it, it was far too late.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The island was paradise. It had everything and anything a woman could want in her life - respect, power, peace, free will, companionship. But it could not last. Not for Clarke. Her soul tried to reason against it, to fight it and deny it. But the fact was as clear as day and as damning as an executioner’s axe.

 

Clarke and Lexa were in love.

 

It was never something that was said, but it was felt in almost every way imaginable. Clarke felt it in soft and lingering touches, in firm grasps and powerful spars, in warm green eyes and tender smiles. She heard their love in quiet conversations about their dreams, their past, and their future. It consumed them, fueled them, and soothed their aching souls like balm to a burn. Every morning Clarke woke up yearning to be with Lexa, and every night she slept with the presence of Lexa tattooed across her skin, her memory, and her soul.

 

She saw that same aching in Lexa. She saw how Lexa would instinctively be drawn towards her in a room, even leaning closer when that wasn’t possible. She saw how much Lexa relaxed with each touch and look and fleeting conversation, as if she was receiving her daily fix of Clarke to survive until the next day. Never before had Clarke ever felt so equal and beloved in her life. To see herself held so highly in the eyes of the one she admired the most was intoxicating and euphoric. Clarke never wanted to leave such paradise.

 

But she had to.

 

Clarke had to leave, because with every passing moment spent falling deeper in love with Lexa, she grew older. It was not apparent the first few years of her stay on Themyscira, but now ten years had passed. And then ten more, and another ten, and another ten would pass until she was nothing more. Her existence would be like the spring and summer, here to bring joy and happiness to the one she loved, only to fade away and abandon her to the cold with only dead leaves and memories to remember her by.

 

Clarke was going to die. She was going to die and leave Lexa all alone to suffer the loss of a love for the second time in her eternal life. She could already see Lexa - youthful, beautiful, eternal Lexa – taking care of her withered body with every ounce of love and tenderness she possessed, never once showing her any less love as she grew old and grey. Clarke couldn’t bear it. Her heart would not be able to withstand the crushing guilt of causing Lexa so much pain and sorrow. She had to leave. She had to leave before it was too late, before she let herself cause irreparable damage to Lexa’s heart. She would leave, like a summer breeze, and pray that Lexa would forget her in time.

 

Her hands had trembled as she packed her belongings. Tears stained Clarke’s cheeks as she made her way across the room, removing small memorabilia that would sustain her broken heart for the rest of her life. Things to remember Themyscira, to remember her friends, to remember Lexa (though she could never forget her even if she tried). She was nearly finished when the doors of her chamber opened. Lexa strode in, her face brightening upon seeing the blonde only for it to fall when she noticed Clarke’s despondent expression. Lexa froze, her eyes drifting down to the pack before returning to Clarke wide with fear and worry. The silence between them was deafening.

 

“Clarke?”

 

Clarke let out a trembling sigh at the sound of Lexa’s voice. She closed her eyes and felt hot tears stream anew. She reopened her eyes to see green eyes bright with their own tears.

 

“Lexa, I have to.”

 

“No, you don’t. You are not leaving.” Lexa’s hard voice wavered with trembling emotion despite the command. The “me” left dangling and unsaid rang loudly in their ears.

 

“I don’t want to.”

 

“It’s not safe,” Lexa urged, her eyes pleading and anguished. “I can’t protect you.”

 

“I’ll be fine, Lexa. You’ve taught me well. I can defend myself, treat my wounds, and hunt for food all on my own. And man’s world might have changed…” Clarke knew she was stalling, her excuses becoming weaker and weaker. She bit her lip as if she were biting down her grief.

 

“You must have known a day like this would come. You’re too smart not to have. And you’re too stubborn not to have thought of a million and a half ways to try and prevent it,” Clarke sighed, her heart breaking with every word. “And the fact that we are standing here today means that there is no other way.”

 

“I don’t care,” Lexa growled. “I don’t care about man’s world. I don’t care about preventing the inevitable.” Lexa took a step towards Clarke as if desperate to grab her and keep her here. The anger in her face softened.

 

“I care about _you_ , Clarke.”

 

Clarke’s heart soared even as it lurched painfully in her chest. _Hera, give me strength_.

 

“Lexa, you-” Clarke swallowed painfully, willing herself to continue. “You know how much I care for you. Gods, I care for you so much that I would walk through Tartarus on bare feet if that meant keeping you safe and happy. And I know that devotion will only grow until it can no longer be ignored.

 

“Let’s not pretend to be something that we’re not, Lexa,” Clarke croaked, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady despite the pain stabbing through her chest. “We both know that if I stay, it will only make my leaving worse. We are just prolonging the inevitable.”

 

Lexa clenched her jaw, her head jerking down as she mulled over the words. She had tried to ignore it, tried to fight it, but falling in love with Clarke was never a choice. It was fate, spun by Clotho herself. Over the years, Clarke had slowly but inexorably chipped away at Lexa’s walls until there was nothing left but weakness. The blonde was etched into every inch of her skin, every moment of her memory, every secret in her soul.

 

“And what makes you think that the pain of you leaving now will be any less?”

 

Lexa glared at Clarke, angry tears falling and burning her cheeks, her voice quiet and thick with agony.

 

“What makes you think that you leaving now wouldn’t break my heart?”

 

“Oh, Lexa,” Clarke sobbed, her face falling into her hands. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

 

Clarke allowed her tears to flow freely only for a few minutes. No, she could not break, not now. This was for the best. This was for Lexa. She had to finish it, even if it killed her in the process.

 

She took a few big breaths to calm down the spasms in her chest. Her hands swiftly brushed away the stray tears even as her soul silently wept.

 

“It’s not just that, Lexa,” Clarke rationalized, trying to use logic to ease the pain in her chest. “Your people need you and will always need you. You told me once how your love and loss nearly destroyed this island. You told me how you could hardly bear the guilt of your actions.”

 

Lexa’s eyes glossed over with confliction, and Clarke knew she had struck a nerve.

 

“I refuse to see you tear yourself apart over me,” Clarke vowed, her voice hard with conviction. “You don’t deserve another loss to torment you for eternity. I won’t make you choose.”

 

“And I refuse to let you go!” Lexa countered, her whole body shaking with frustration and denial.

 

Clarke was right. Her people would always come first. No matter with the changing times, her people remained a constant in her life. But so was Clarke. In just a fraction of Lexa’s lifetime, Clarke managed to integrate herself so perfectly into her life that she could hardly bare to imagine it without her. Lexa squeezed her eyes, her mind conflicted and battling.

 

No, she can’t let Clarke leave. Not like this. Lexa won’t choose. She would always love and protect her people, but she refused to let them take Clarke away. For the first time in her life, Lexa felt selfish.

 

Lexa abruptly turned and made. way to the door, her mind now fully occupied on the only solution she had yet to entertain, only because of the impossibility of it. It was only when she reached the door did she realize that this might be the last time she sees Clarke.

 

“Lexa, Lexa please!” Clarke cried out desperately. She had dreaded this. She had dreaded Lexa’s anger, and now it seemed like she had driven her away before she even left. Clarke’s heart could hardly bare it.

 

Lexa turned around slowly, her eyes flickering over to the beautiful blonde. She looked deep into sapphire eyes, desperate to remember every last detail of the woman she loved.

 

“May we meet again,” she whispered before leaving the room, her heart as heavy as the world on Atlas’ shoulder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alone she stood, Alexandria, Queen of the Amazons, before the brightly lit flames and the stone statues of her protectors. The marble temple felt cold and unwelcome in the cool night air. The faces of wise Athena, beautiful Aphrodite, and majestic Hera gazed down at her as if in expectation. Lexa forced down the desperation that threatened to overwhelm her. She yearned to scream, shout, and curse at the gods.

 

Why? Why did they bring Clarke here only to take her away? Why did they boast of peace only to inflict this torture? And why, in the name of the Moirai, did this torture have to hurt Clarke as well?

 

Lexa thought of Clarke, of how she arrived and swept her life in a tumultuous storm of joy, vibrancy, and love. Her heart ached and tears nearly sprang to her eyes at the thought of never seeing that smile as bright as the sun, or never engaging in a battle of wits, or never reveling in the soothing presence of the blonde.

 

No, Lexa refused to lose this. She was an Amazon. She would fight gods and all of Tartarus to keep her. Lexa planted her feet firmly on the ground, her head tilted high and graceful despite the war raging in her head. She glared at the marble faces towering above her, her fists clenched tightly at her side.

 

“For three hundred years, I have served you,” Lexa declared, her green eyes piercing through statues like lances through a straw man. “I have worshiped you and fought for you. I have served as your champion. I have devoted myself fully and loved my people for centuries, and I will continue to do so for an eternity that you forced upon me.”

 

A tremble leaked into Lexa’s voice, a sign of her desperation that she quickly quashed.

 

“I have asked nothing from you, and I will ask nothing from you. Nothing save this one request.”

 

Her voice rang throughout the temple, the hard edge unmistakable as it bounced off the stone walls. Lexa glared at the statues of her patrons, the ones who had cursed her with this immortal life, as if daring them to challenge her claims. She would not beg, she would not pray. She would not even utter the words. The gods knew. She was Queen Alexandria of the Amazons. She commanded.

 

“You owe me.”

 

And with that, Lexa stalked out the temple and refused to look back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lexa immediately sought out Clarke after her visit to the temple, her soul anxious to be with her love again. She returned to her chamber only to find it empty. Dread and fear froze her heart as her mind frantically worked. Was she too late? Had Clarke left her already, her pain too great to say goodbye?

 

Lexa scoured the whole wing, her mind racing at where Clarke could have gone. _Great Hera, please don’t let it be to late. Please, please don’t let me be too late._

 

Lexa burst through the doors of the infirmary and caught sight of familiar blonde hair. Her whole body sagged with relief as her heart began beating again. The blonde snapped her head up to see Lexa, her face still etched with anguish at her imminent departure.

 

“I’m alright, Lexa. After you left, I was struck by...the strangest sensation," Clarke raised her hands, clenching and releasing fists as if her fingertips tingled. "I - hmm - I think I'm alright. I feel...good. Better than good, even." Clarke's eyebrows furrowed, innocent confusion still stirring in her blue eyes.

 

That’s when Lexa saw it. A glimmer, the faintest glow coming from Clarke’s skin. It was hardly there, but Lexa caught it. She honed in on it and refused to let it out of her sight as she stared in wonder and shock. Clarke always radiated with goodness and compassion, but this -  _this -_ had the glow of divinity.

 

_By the gods…_

****

Lexa approached Clarke slowly, as if at any moment she would shimmer away like a mirage in the desert. Clarke was still distracted, clenching and unclenching her hands. A warm hand grasped around her wrist, and suddenly Lexa was there. Her stunning face, full of love and disbelief, was mere inches away from Clarke. The sight of her stole Clarke’s breath away. A hand found its way to the nape of Clarke’s neck, her fingers tangling in blonde hair. Lexa still looked at Clarke as if she were a miracle, her eyes wide and shining with unshed tears.

 

“Clarke…” Her voice shook with reverence.

 

Lexa gently brought Clarke closer until their foreheads touched. Their noses brushed lightly against one another. Clarke felt Lexa’s warm breath on her lips. She shuddered as her eyes closed and relished the sensation. So close, they were so close…

 

Then, with the gentlest pressure, Lexa’s lips were on hers. It was soft and warm and hardly there, but it was as if the ground had moved. Clarke trembled, her whole world shifting and sliding until everything was focused on Lexa and Lexa alone. Her lips pressed back and slid along gloriously full lips. She felt Lexa gasp and part her mouth to latch onto her bottom lip and apply the slightest pressure. Clarke whimpered at the sensation as her hands finally latched onto Lexa, desperate to grasp onto her in any way she could. Her hands clutched at armor and clothing like they were tethering her to the earth’s surface.

 

Too quickly, Lexa broke the kiss, though they remained as close as they ever were. Both women shook uncontrollably. Lexa’s shuddering breath came hard and fast. Clarke felt hot tears splash onto her cheeks as she grasped onto Lexa tighter.

 

“I love you Clarke,” Lexa whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “Please, stay.”

 

Clarke let out her own tear-stained sob, clutching onto Lexa’ neck. She brought those lips back onto her own, kissing her with demand and desperation. Lexa immediately responded, her mouth opening and exploring Clarke. Whimpers and gasps escaped both of them as they pressed themselves against each other, their lips never leaving their heavenly dance. Clarke’s body arched into Lexa’s, refusing to let any distance between them. Lexa broke the kiss only long enough to utter another desperate “I love you” before latching onto Clarke’s neck. She peppered her jaw with kisses, each time muttering the only words that mattered.

 

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

 

Clarke clenched her eyes, her tears streaming down as she let out a damp laugh. How wondrous, how euphoric it was to hear Lexa say it. Her chest was bursting with the sheer amount of love that threatened to consume her. After all this time, to finally be able to show how much they were in love with one another, it felt like time was infinite, and it was theirs to revel in. It was only then that Clarke realized what Lexa had put together just minutes before. The warmest glow settled over Clarke, and she knew.

 

Clarke urged Lexa back up from her neck and nearly broke down again seeing the unrestrained love oozing from those green eyes. With utmost tenderness, she brought her lips back to Lexa, who let out a small sigh at the sensation.

 

“I love you Lexa,” Clarke whispered, her smile threatening to break her face in half. She pressed her lips again and again. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

 

Another long, lingering kiss threatened to buckle Lexa at the knees. Light open mouth kisses followed as fingers brushed gently and reverently along her body. With lips barely a centimeter away, Clarke uttered her future with unbridled joy.

 

“I’m staying, forever.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Angelic chorus in the background* "ETERNAAAAL LOOOOOOOVEE!"
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and that it brought lingering fluffiness and happiness into your life. I'm not sure when the next chapter is coming out as the majority of it is not written (outlined yes, but not written). It might be shorter than this one, but then again, quality > quantity.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments fuel my soul! Let me know what you guys think of the story so far :)


	5. Rain check on Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke have an eternity to be with each other. But duty, fate, and the inevitable losses do not leave either woman unscathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK?! THIS IDIOT.
> 
> So I've been getting a lot of comments about continuing this fic, which I am immensely touched by. I always had plans to come back, but time and writer's block did it's number on me. And now that I've seen Wonder Woman TWICE, I absolutely must continue this story. 
> 
> I wanted to tell snippets of Lexa and Clarke's monumental life together. They will both lose each other at some point, but I promise there will be the happiest ending for them! But you can't expect there to not be some drama, right? The organization/timeline is a bit funky - so apologies in advance. 
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul, so please leave something for me below! (Also this is unedited - we die like men)

Some people were just meant to be together, and for Clarke and Lexa there was never a truer statement. So entwined were they in each other, body and soul, that both women scarcely remembered what it was like to live without the other by their side. For the Queen of the Amazons, she felt as if her soul was forever attached to Clarke’s, as if she and Clarke were connected by some invisible string no one but the two of them felt. It tugged them closer to each other, protecting each other whenever they got too far away or too close to danger, or when they sought the warmth of each other’s embrace. Even if it stretched across distances and weathered through time, that invisible, invincible string never failed to bring Lexa and Clarke back to each other.

 

For Clarke, she never imagined that the love she held for Lexa was possible. She had seen love, understood love, even envied after love. But never in her wildest dreams did she ever think love could have been as earthshattering, fulfilling, and yes, eternal, as the love she held for the Queen of Themyscira. Every time she thought she had found steady ground, one look at green eyes and a soft smile would send her tumbling all over again. Clarke never wanted to stop falling. She never wanted to know when she would hit the ground.

 

And yet the ground always arrived. Clarke and Lexa gave everything that was theirs to give to each other. They were together in almost every way that mattered. They shared the royal quarters, slept in each other’s arms, attended ceremonies together. To the Amazons, they were already seen as bonded for life. Clarke was respected as the Queen’s partner, and as such became beloved in her own right as an effective leader and renown healer. In spite of this, they knew they could not be together - bonded, married, completely devoted to each other and _only_ each other - not in that way, when Lexa was still Queen of the Amazons.

 

Lexa was at the mercy of her people and the gods. At any given moment, she could be called away to battle the fiercest monsters that ever existed, and neither she nor Clarke could do anything about it. Every time Lexa left, Clarke felt like a part of her soul had ripped apart and left with her, and only until Lexa came back to her safe and unharmed did her body stop bleeding. It was brutal and nearly unbearable, and Clarke endured it with a clench in her teeth and resignation in her heart. Just as she loved Lexa when she was soft and tender, she loved Lexa when she was the devoted leader of the people she now called family. Clarke would never ask Lexa to be anything more than she could give, even if that meant tempering the love between them. If that meant more endurance on her part, so be it. Clarke was in free-fall, and she would let Lexa decide when she would hit the ground.

 

Yet it was so apparent – in spite of her notorious self-control – how deeply Lexa loved. She loved earnestly and without boundaries. Every night entangled in sweaty limbs and gasps of pleasure, Clarke felt Lexa love her with her whole body and soul. She saw it in possessive love bites across her neck and blazing green eyes watching her fall apart. Lexa loved so easily and so fully it took effort for her to reign in her weakness for Clarke. With each successive time she left for battle, Lexa found it harder and harder to leave Clarke behind, and Clarke’s heart ached to see Lexa fight against her nature time and time again. Clarke understood that deep down in heart, Lexa was tired. She was tired of being at the gods whim, tired of the violence, tired of the ache in her chest that her past could never fully let her enjoy the present. They both yearned for a future where neither of them needed to worry about anything other than each other. But they were together, they had each other, and they had forever. It would be enough. It had to be enough.

 

\--

 

Clarke nearly lost Lexa during their 88th year together. Lexa had woken up with a strong familiar embrace warped around her. She gently roused Clarke with feathery kisses and hushed sweet nothings, and the morning light sifted through sheer curtains as the women spent another few moments basking in each other. It had become a tradition for Clarke and Lexa to treasure each other every morning, just for a few minutes, before the rest of the island called them away. Today was no exception.

 

There had been reports of strange disturbances in the caves located on the Themysciran outskirts that demanded Lexa’s attention. While there was no evidence yet of any foul danger, it would still take Lexa a good half-day to travel and investigate her lands. She had told Clarke about it the night before, and even though both women were expecting it, neither would ever be comfortable with the thought of their lover in danger. For better or for worse, time never seemed to change the way they loved each other.

 

“I’ll be back for dinner,” Lexa had whispered, her nose gently stroking Clarke’s as her promise settled the pounding in the healer’s chest. Clarke had answered by grasping Lexa’s shirt as she breathed a sigh, her resignation and her anxiety still clear in her expression. She nodded silently into her lover’s neck, relishing how the steady heartbeat in her pulse point soothed her.

 

 _Just one day_ , Clarke thought watching Lexa gallop away with her guard.

 

 

 

 

Clarke sent out a scouting team when dinner went cold. When the scouting team came back without Lexa and the Queen’s guard, Clarke immediately set off for the caves. She arrived to a scene that sent an ice dagger into her chest.

 

Nothing. There was nothing there. Not a splotch of blood, not a hoof print on the ground, not a broken spear tip. No signs of battle, no signs of encampment.

 

No signs of life.

 

Ten days. Ten excruciating days of scouring the area, looking under every rock, exploring every surface of the caves – nothing. Ten agonizing days of seeking counsel in libraries, wise women, senators, even the gods in desperate prayers – nothing. Ten days that nearly drove Clarke mad with grief and rage. Consumed by anger, she burned to summon the Amazon army to arms, but there was no enemy to fight, only an empty field and unanswered questions. Clarke had no trace of where Lexa was, and it was driving her to madness.

 

At the brink of her desperation, Clarke made plans to board a ship fully intent on launching herself back into man’s world to find Lexa. She had no reason to suspect that she would be there, but sitting here, doing _nothing_ to search for her lover, was not acceptable. The only reason Clarke stayed was her fear that she could never again return back to Themyscira should her search fail. Despite the fact that she was over a century-years-old, time had never passes as slowly or as agonizingly as the days spent with Lexa missing.

 

It happened without warning. The sun was nearly finished dipping beneath the horizon. Clarke almost missed the arrival, her mind so befuddled by a complete lack of sleep and progress. As she stared again at the map of Themyscira for the thousandth time, her comrades polishing their armors awaiting orders, a flash of light blinded their sight with a thunderous boom. Steam arose from the ground as if struck by lightning, and when it cleared the air, Clarke’s breath caught in her throat.

 

Standing strong, looking a little worse for wear, were the missing Amazons. And at the front, to Clarke’s utter relief and joy, was Lexa. Her crimson cloak was tattered, her green eyes dull with exhaustion, but she was wonderfully, beautiful, _alive_.

 

With a choked gasp, Clarke ran towards Lexa, her sight slowly blurring as tears filled her eyes. Lexa is alive. Lexa is here. Lexa is _safe_. There was nothing else running in her mind but the continuous thought to get to Lexa, to hold her in her arms, to convince her heart to be full again and to rid her mind of all the terrible thoughts it had conjured in her lover’s absence.

 

The pounding in her ears matched the pounding of her feet as she got closer and closer to Lexa. Clarke saw the moment Lexa’s eyes caught hers, how they widened in surprised at her registering the mixture of grief and joy etched on her face. The Amazon Queen was only able to utter a softest sound of her name before Clarke barreled into her. Her arms wrapped tightly around shoulder guards and thick cape. Her hands grasping desperately as Clarke buried her face into the crook of Lexa’s neck. She felt Lexa stumble back at the force of Clarke’s embrace but hold steady under their combined weight. Strong arms immediately wrapped around Clarke’s waist, and the comfort of Lexa’s warm embrace released a tight sob from her chest. Her tears now flowed freely, hot and heavy with the sorrow and anguish she had carried with her for the past days.

 

“Lexa,” Clarke whispered, relief and pain coloring her voice as she repeats her name like a prayer. “Oh Lexa, Lexa…”

 

Clarke lost track of how long she remained in Lexa’s embrace. She only cared to register the soft strokes of Lexa’s hands upon her back, the soothing sounds gracing the tips of her ears, the rumbles of low reassuring murmurs that sent tingles down to Clarke’s feet. By the time Clarke finally relaxed her grip, the sun had well disappeared beneath the horizon. When she lifts her head, she can’t help but stare at those green eyes she treasures, eyes that were looking at her with a mixture of concern and confusion.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered, a hand coming to caress Clarke’s cheek. “Clarke, what is wrong?”

 

Clarke stared, bewildered and unsure by Lexa’s question.

 

“Lexa, you - you were gone,” She takes a shuddering breath. “You were gone and I couldn’t find you.”

 

Lexa’s eyes widened. “But we were only gone for a few hours, a half a day at most.”

 

Clarke shook her head. “No, Lexa. Dearest, you’ve been gone for nearly two weeks.”

 

The queen breathed a sharp inhale, the only evidence of her shock. Her hands gripped tighter around Clarke. “Two weeks…”

 

Clarke nodded, leaning her head once again to rest on the Lexa’s shoulder. She focuses on the rise and fall of Lexa’s chest as she let her process the news.

 

“We were exploring the caves,” Lexa began, a hand coming back up to resume its careful strokes across blonde hair. “We came across nothing. Only the air held a dark sense of unease around us.”

 

Clarke felt Lexa skim her nose across her temple, a familiar gesture that filled her heart with liquid warmth.

 

“We didn’t know it then, but we had come across a spirit, a rogue entity not unlike the Fates. It descended upon us in a mist so cloying that by the time we escaped, we found ourselves in a different world. Time did not move the same as it does here. It was malleable, like tar as it shifts from under a hot sun and a cool moon. Our sister warriors and I knew that we could not escape, not without finding and destroying this entity.”

 

“We thought we had spent only a few hours before finding our way back home, but it seems like our perspective of time was manipulated.” Lexa encouraged Clarke so that they faced one another. Lexa gazed at Clarke ruefully, her hands coming to gently cup her face. “I am sorry, Clarke, I did not know. Had I known that every second I spent in that awful world would mean a minute more of your suffering, I would have fought harder.”

 

Clarke’s heart broke at the guilt in Lexa’s voice. She determined that she hated that sound and immediately remedied it by pressing her lips to Lexa’s. They move gently together in a familiar rhythm, a sigh breaking out from both women when Clarke pulls away from Lexa. She kept their foreheads together as if she could not bear to lose contact with Lexa entirely.

 

“As long as you come back to me, that is all I ask,” Clarke said, unable to keep her tone entire free from pleading.

 

Lexa nodded vigorously against her forehead. “Always.”

 

They remained for a minute longer pressed together until Lexa finally pulled away to address her people. When the confusion of the preceding events has all but dialed out, Clarke and Lexa found themselves sharing a horse back to city. Clarke allowed herself to sink into the warm embrace of Lexa behind her, relishing every moment that she had convinced herself would never happen again. She hummed when Lexa presses back seemingly with the same intensity.

 

“Clarke?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I’m sorry I’m late for dinner.”

 

A soft jab from Clarke’s elbow rewarded her with a chuckle from the queen as the glow of the palace came closer. They were home. And they were with each other again. They only prayed that this would last.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for sticking with me, you guys. I love you all very dearly. I'm sorry this chapter is a bit short and a little filler-esque. I just wanted to get some of it out for those of ya'll waiting on some new material. I already have half of the other chapter written, and it's going to explore a bit more about loss. But I plan to end it with a super amazing lead up into the finale of the fic. Again, thank you guys so much for your patience!
> 
> If you guys are wondering if Diana/Wonder Woman will be making an appearance in this fic...OOHHHOOO just you WAIT. She will be a huge part of this story. If you haven't seen Wonder Woman, do yourself a favor and SEE IT. It is so incredible, groundbreaking, and Gal Gadot is like the embodiment of Wonder Woman - and that is coming from a huge fan of the comics.


	6. Over a hundred years: prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is a blessing for immortals in love - and it is a curse for those who lose it. War strikes, and Lexa and Clarke must deal with the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story just keeps getting bigger and bigger I -- (subtly adjusts chapter expectations)
> 
> *Anyway*
> 
> This is the prologue to the last "interlude" part of the story before diving nose-deep into the last arc of the story. The next chapter will be very long and plenty emotional to make up for the short length. It's 90% finished, so I hope to get it up if not this weekend then the next!
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul, so please leave something for me below!

 

  
_Lexa lost Clarke in the 512th year. Knee deep in a vicious war - the only war that mattered - Lexa and Clarke fought against the God of War himself, Ares. All over the world, mankind had once again descended into an age of war unlike any that had ravaged the earth. Like some nightmarish epidemic, brother slaughtered brother, children grew up with war as their teacher, all the while fueling Ares with more power and hubris than ever before. The war God possessed a bloodlust without bounds. By the time the Amazons were called upon, Ares's influence spread so far that it threatened the very existence of the gods themselves._

 

_True to their duty, nearly all of the Amazon forces answered the call to end the vile god’s rampage, and many brave warriors fell beneath Ares’ dreaded war hammer. In a last stand, Lexa and Clarke along with the remaining Amazons battled the great god on the soils of old Sparta._

  
_~-~-~_

 

134 A.D.

Clarke heard the kick before she felt it. The swish of air was the only warning before Ares’ armored boot slammed into Clarke’s chest and sent her flying. Like a rag doll, she crashed into the crumbling column behind her, knocking the air out of her already collapsed chest. Clarke slumped to the floor, a pained grunt escaping her lips. Clarke heard a voice cry out her name, shrill and frantic. _Lexa_.

 

Clarke’s whole upper body was in agony. Her chest felt like it was being squeezed in a vice grip, it's hold relentless and terrifying. Tears spilled from her clenched eyes as she struggled to breathe. Every small movement was torture, every muscle twitch burned her veins. Tiny gasps of air were all she could manage. She let out a wet cough, the rusty taste of blood stinging her nose as it leaked out of her gaping mouth.

 

Clarke was dying. Or at least very close to dying. Clarke was immortal, not invincible. Her divine transformation had given her resilience and enhanced strength, but even she could not compete with a god. She could feel her splintered ribs puncturing her lungs with every desperate inhale. Her sword arm was almost certainly broken, lying limp and useless next to her broken body. She could barely move to get up off the ground. She just managed to angle her head and catch the chaos around her. The sight before her froze her heart in terror.

 

Lexa was caught in a steel battle with Ares, her sword trembling as she braced herself against his rusty axe. The Amazon Queen, glorious and bloody in her rage and fury, was nearly alone in her fight. Off to her side, Anya was barely standing, her arm cradling her wounded side as she tried to get back to her Queen, fighting off Ares’ minions in her way. Indra was tending to a screaming Octavia, her crushed leg useless and twitching in agony. And Raven – Oh gods, _Raven_ – was on the ground, looking far too still.

 

There was a ferocious boom as Lexa slammed her bracelets together, the powerful blast forcing the war god back a few steps as his axe loosened in his grip. Lexa surged forward, fire blazing in emerald eyes as she pressed her advantage. With a powerful cry, the Amazon Queen launched herself at Ares and pressed the gleaming blade of her sword against his throat.

 

There was only stillness, and for a moment the world seemed frozen. All sounds of battle ceased as Queen and God remained locked in a standstill. Even Clarke scarcely remembered to blink. The silence shattered with a deep and quaking laugh from Ares.

 

“Foolish girl,” he rumbled, his red eyes glowing beneath his Spartan helmet, “Do you think this will kill me?”

 

“Yes. It will,” Lexa snarled. “This blade is the Godkiller. It has tasted the blood of your forefathers and your lesser kin. Do not forget, God of War, that I have the blessings of your brothers and sisters, even your beloved father, Zeus, the destroyer of Titans. If a Titan can fall by this blade, so can you.”

 

Red eyes narrowed and studied the bloody warrior before him. Seeing Lexa in such a precarious situation, Clarke struggled to get on her feet. Red eyes caught her stuttering movement. A sudden gleam set in them.

 

“Very well,” Ares conceded, his deep voice far too easy to be genuine, “I propose a truce. I will pull back my army. Your beloved Amazons will live to see another day. On one condition.” He pointed damningly at Clarke, who stilled with his next words. “Your precious consort, the little stowaway, will be my consolation prize.”

  
Lexa’s eyes widen as she locked eyes with Clarke. Fear shined clearly in her suddenly vulnerable expression. It hardened immediately into fury as she glared back at Ares and shoved her blade further against his neck.

 

“What could you possibly gain from taking Clarke?” She hissed, her anger unable to mask the fear in her voice. “You sustain yourself on war and conflict. Why do you want her?”

 

Ares chuckled, his laugh grinding like charred metal. “My my, little Amazon, how protective you are. She must be excellent in bed,” he sneered. “Perhaps I shall make dear Clarke my personal companion?”

 

“ _Don’t_ say her name,” Lexa seethed, her voice shaking with rage. “I demand you tell me why!”

 

A Cheshire grin broke over the war god's grim facade.

 

“War exists inside of us all, little Amazon. The conflict and pain and anger that rage in our minds and hearts can be just as powerful as the clanging of swords.” A nasty gleam flashed across glowing eyes. “The war that rages in your heart, dear Queen - the anguish and conflict that ravages inside you at the prospect of sacrificing your love for your people, will sustain me far longer than this simple skirmish.”

 

Devastation bled across Lexa’s face. The horror of the true nature of Ares' power crushed against her chest.

 

“So you see, we both win.” The smile in his voice froze the blood inside Clarke’s veins.

 

Lexa was speechless. Not because she didn’t know what to say, but because she knew exactly what she should say. Ares was offering a way to save her people, the Gods, even mankind. She was Queen of the Amazons, destined to placed all others before herself. She swore to always protect her people, her Gods - and, _sweet Hera's mercy_ , Lexa has never hated her duty more than this exact moment.

 

She should say yes, she _needed_ to say yes, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to make a sound. She couldn’t bring herself to lose Clarke. It would be easier to cut out her own heart. The pain and agony of sacrificing her love was too great. It would tear her apart sooner than she could utter her dreadful, dreadful answer.

 

“I’ll do it.”

 

Lexa went cold. She spun around to face Clarke, her sword no longer pressed against Ares. Clarke was clutching her chest in agony, but her eyes still held onto Lexa. Her dimmed gaze reflected a clouded mixture of pain, determination, and remorse. Clarke knew her too well to pretend she hadn’t already figured out Lexa’s decision. There was no anger or betrayal in those blue eyes, only resignation. Lexa felt her heart seize in a vice grip.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa croaked, unable to hide her anguish. “Clarke, please…”

 

Please what? Please stay? Please forgive me? Lexa didn’t know what following words were lodged in her throat. All she could do was let her silent sobs wrack through her body. _Please, not Clarke. Please please..._

 

“I’m sorry, Lexa,” Clarke whispered, her voice trembling as tears trailed down her cheeks. “I promised you forever, but I -- _hck_ "

 

Clarke gasped and doubled over, nearly losing her balance as another dribble of blood trickled it past her lips. Lexa let out a chocked cry. Clarke regained herself, heavy shallow pants escaping her as she grew increasingly pale.

 

"I also promised I would never let you choose between me and your people," Clarke continued, a small rueful smile painting her red lips. "I love you too much."

 

Lexa quietly sobbed. She cried for the agony of her duty. She cried for the love she did not deserve from a companion worthy of spending lifetimes with. She cried at the imminence of having that love ripped away as she lived out her cursed destiny.

 

"I love you." Lexa's soul crumbled at how much it sounded like goodbye.

 

Clarke flickered a smile, her eyes soft and pained. "I love you," she whispered, her own tears sliding down dusted cheeks. "I…I’m sorry.”

 

“It is done,” The God of War declared.

 

“ _No!_ Clarke!” Lexa ran to Clarke desperately, her arms reaching out as if to capture her, to make her stay. Clarke stumbled as she tried to close the distance, her good arm stretching out to touch Lexa.

 

Just one last moment. Just one more touch…

 

The space between them grew smaller and smaller…

 

Ares snapped his fingers, and Clarke was gone.

 

Everything was gone. His army, the dead, even the rubble. Only the empty smoking battlefield lay around Lexa and the survivors.

 

Lexa went still. Her hands were still outstretched – still reaching for Clarke – but Clarke was gone. Clarke was… _gone_.

 

Pain, hot and excruciating, flared mercilessly in Lexa. She fell to the ground, her hands tingling with what they just lost. An aching hollowness threatened to consume her. Lexa wondered if her heart could bleed to death without ever leaving her chest. A scream tore and ravaged inside her, threatening to claw its way out and leave Lexa’s body in gutted shreds. And so she let it out. Lexa screamed at the blood-red sky, wailed and howled like the wounded and defeated husk of a person she was. Tears streamed down in silence, anguish wracking her body even as her voice gave out. Her hands grasped desperately at the blood-damp ground.

 

The hot dirt slipped past her fingers, just like Clarke only moments ago. As the dirt crumbled beneath her hand, so did Lexa’s heart beneath the weight of her crown.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry (not sorry) to end on the angst! But you know me, fluff is my specialty and my balm. You know I won't keep our girls separate for too long ;) I ain't goin easy on you next chapter!


	7. Over a hundred years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would you do for love? For Clarke, it means defying fate and gods themselves. But what will await her when she succeeds?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy god I think I sold my soul to finish this chapter on time. I am so anxious about this chapter - I hope I did well and satiated your Clexa needs. Please leave me comments below: I would love to hear what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> Also: no editing we die like men

 

Clarke remained alone for nearly one hundred and fifty years, trapped to stay by Ares’ side as a consolation prize. The lover of the Queen of the Amazons, the keeper of her heart, forever enslaved in order to save her people, to save Lexa. Yet for all of Lexa’s nightmares of Clarke living in Ares’ hellish world, Clarke had not experience nearly as much suffering as Lexa has imagined. The God of War, for all his malice, was still a general, a strategist, and he was more cunning than sadistic. He needed Clarke more alive than dead if he was to siphon from her lover’s pain. His mind was far too occupied planning the next great campaign, the next great bloodshed, to spare a second thought to the healer. He often left Clarke alone when she was forced to join his campaigns, never giving her more than a passing glance of disinterest. He had no need of her other than her presence.

 

Even without the physical reminder of Ares power over her, Clarke was miserable. Every day, Clarke missed Lexa. Every fiber of her being ached to be with Lexa again, so much so that she often cursed herself for ever having the strength to leave in the first place. Every moment, green eyes haunted her. The ghost of calloused fingers and soft lips had Clarke verging on tears in times of weakness. She tortured herself imagining Lexa, alone on her island, suffering just as maddening a pain and fury aimed at her heart for fueling her enemy. In her darkest moments, Clarke wondered if she should end both their sufferings and become a casualty in the wars she witnessed.

 

For all the pain, Clarke turned it to fuel her escape. She was still her father’s daughter. From birth, she was taught the ways of diplomacy and peace, and she was every bit as cunning and clever as Ares. Away from the watchful gaze of the War God, Clarke nudged, whispered, and encouraged her influence amongst the war-weary dissidents she encountered. With careful words and subtle actions, she planted the seeds for conciliation and peace that would withstand the tests of time.

 

Year after year with hushed conversations in the cover of darkness, Clarke began her revolution for peace. It was slow, excruciating work, and at times it felt nearly impossible to accomplish. Yet ever so slightly, she saw mankind change. They became quiet, their aggression and desire for conquest dimmed. Even in death, her father managed to be right. Peace and love will always outlast violence, and so the day came when Clarke realized just how close she was, at last, to freedom.

 

 

~-~-~

 

 

288 A.D.

 

“How dare you defy me, you Themysciran whore!” Ares raged, his giant form looming over Clarke as she stood before his flesh-made throne. “You think you can undermine me through your petty talks of peace and love? I should flay you alive and feed you to my warlords!”

 

Clarke barely flinched at his threat despite the frantic heartbeat pounding in her chest. “If you kill me, Lexa will come for you. She will hunt you down and slaughter you like a pig if you so much as touch me.”

 

Clarke stepped forward, anger flaring in her eyes. “And if you keep me, I will _never_ stop trying to undermine you. You will never know war the way it was, I promise you that.”

 

She could not help the chill that raced down her spine when burning red eyes narrowed into slits. _Push on, push on_.

 

“There is only one solution, Ares.”

 

His rage shook the dark space around them.

 

“Come on, God on War,” she taunted, unable to keep a century’s worth of resentment out of her tone. “You are a general, no? The ultimate strategist? You should recognize a draw when you see it.”

 

Clarke edged forward taking slowed controlled steps closer and closer to Ares. She swallowed, trying to press down the fear bubbling up from her throat.

 

“Let me go, Ares,” her voice growing soft as sincerity bled into her anger. “Let me go. There is nothing more that you can gain from me that I will not take back from you. No one will win.”

 

Ares made no indication of heeding her words. His form was still and ominously silent as he loomed over Clarke.

 

Clarke sighed, her eyes growing weary and heavy. She was so tired, so so tired and so very sick of the constant heartache in her chest. “Let me go, and I will no longer interfere in your affairs.”

 

The God of War tilted his head, the gleam of his helmet flashing in the firelight. “You so easily give up on your fellow man and doom them to a violent end? Why Clarke, I thought you had more faith in your petty kin.”

 

“I believe in their goodness, Ares,” Clarke growled, her snarl defiant and fierce. “I will always believe in them, and that it why I have faith that they will not succumb to your whispering lies.”

 

Ares snickered, the shadow of thin lips smirking back at Clarke. “How quant your naivety is, my dear child.” He turned, shoulders set in haughty confidence as he strode back towards his bloody throne. “But perhaps it is time to introduce new elements into the game.”

 

His armor creaked as he turned to gaze over his shoulder at Clarke. The air turned stifling with the stench of death and rusty blood. “If you should ever go back on your promise, Amazon, I will return for you and in relish the taste of your defeat.”

 

The smile in his voice burned like acid across Clarke’s skin. Suddenly the air thinned, and what air remained seared the inside of Clarke’s nose and mouth like liquid fire. Clarke gasped, hunching over as her veins ran icy hot and her nerve endings exploded across every inch of her body. Clarke panicked, her breath coming now in short bursts. For a terrifying moment, Clarke thought Ares had decided to kill her, sending her to a torturous death for her insolence. A pang of anguish and guilt filled her as she thought of Lexa, of how she had left Lexa all alone once again, of how she had failed. Clarke let out a pained cry, her body and mind overwhelmed by the relentless assault.

 

Without warning, the weight on her body lifted. The heat dissipated like mist as she uncoiled her body from the near fetal position Ares had forced her into. Her hands reached out to steady herself on the ground only to grasp onto cool smooth grass. She let in a small gasp, her hands having forgotten how soft and gentle the world could be. A cool breeze ran across her skin, blowing back strands of her blonde hair and sending shivers down her spine in the most pleasant way. Clarke opened her eyes to the sight of green all around her. It was dark, but Clarke could still make out the grass plains spreading and disappearing into forests. The sight of oh so familiar cliffs and waterfalls were eclipsed by a shining moon and a night sky full of constellations. Tears sprung to her eyes, her chest letting of a choked sob of joy.

 

_Home._ She was home.

 

Shakily, Clarke pulled herself onto her feet, relishing the way the soft ground gave slightly beneath her. It felt so incredibly wonderful to be back. The ache in her heart lessened, soothed by the familiar aura of Themyscira. Clarke let her head fall back as her eyes slide shut. With a deep inhale, she smelled the freshness of young leaves in the trees, the saltiness of the breeze gliding in from the sea. She could hear the rustling of leaves, the singing of wildlife from the forest, the familiar crashing of waves in the distance. The essence of Themyscira washed over her like a balm to her soul, erasing years of the grim of war, rage, and violence from her skin.

 

And with Themyscira flowing through her veins, memories she had long repressed – the rush of galloping through the forest, the thrill of sparring in the sand arenas, the feel of rough but gentle hands roaming over her body, the press of sensuous lips across every surface of her skin – returned to her. She basked in the flood of memories, no longer feeling the sting of longing in her heart. So soon. So very very soon…

 

“Halt!”

 

Clarke was jolted from her thoughts as a dark figure on horseback charged in, a spear pointed threatening at Clarke.

 

“Declare yourself or face the might of the Amazons,” the command harsh and demanding. Clarke remembered that voice, remembered that stance.

 

“Octavia?”

 

The figure balked, the spear jerking back in surprised as Clarke squinted to see the warrior’s face in the low light. The outline of the warrior’s helmet tilted, analyzing Clarke for a moment. The moment could only have been a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

 

“…Clarke?” Octavia’s hushed voice whispered with disbelief. Clarke let out a sigh of happiness as a joyful smile spread across her face. The rider quickly dismounted, hastily rushing to stand before Clarke. The warrior approached her with the barest hint of a limp, and Clarke flashed back to the last image she saw of Octavia, screaming and injured on the ground. The woman before her looked strong and healthy, s complete turn around from before. It warmed her heart to see her friend had recovered well.

 

Clarke could now see the look of complete shock on her friend’s face. She had missed Octavia, missed all of her friends, so much so that she could now hardly contain her joy. Clarke launched herself to embrace Octavia, her arms wrapping tightly over her leather armor as she released a peal of laughter. She felt Octavia hesitate, still processing the fact that Clarke had finally returned, before arms wrapped tightly around her middle. The embrace was tight and long, both women reveling in the unbridled joy and shock of it all.

 

“By the gods, it _is_ you!” Octavia cried when they released each other after a long moment. “We never – we had thought –”

 

Octavia gave Clarke a once over, as if she were inspecting her for injuries. Her eyes were still wide with disbelief at the woman in front of her. “Clarke, we had thought you were lost forever.”

 

“So had I,” Clarke added gravely, her hands returning to grasp Octavia by the shoulders. “But I am back now, for good.”

 

Clarke could feel the unrestraint grin spread across her face and stretch her cheeks.

 

“Oh, I have missed you Octavia,” Clarke’s voice turning thick with emotion as she gripped on the groundskeeper's shoulders. “I have missed home.”

 

Octavia returned the grip, her own eyes glistening. “It is good to have you back, sister.” They linger a moment longer, enjoying the bonds of sisterhood that had not waned for over a century.

 

“Come, we must take you back to the palace,” Octavia pulled Clarke toward the horse. “We must inform our sisters of your return. And you must tell us of how you have come back to us.”

 

“Octavia wait,” Clarke hesitated as Octavia turned to face her. “I do not wish for my return to be known, not yet at least. It will be a shock, and there are matters that I -”

 

Clarke’s face twisted as she tried to convey how much she just wanted to see Lexa right now, only Lexa, and not deal with the fanfare of her return. There is so much that needed to be said, so much that Clarke had yearned for in the past that she could not wait.

 

“Please just --” Clarke swallowed, no longer hiding the desperation in her voice. “Just take me to her?”

 

Octavia nodded, her eyes soft with understanding. She led Clarke back to the stables, where after they both rode to the palace using the lesser-trodden paths. Octavia accompanied Clarke as they enter the back entrance of the palace and take the secret passage directly to Lexa’s (and Clarke’s) quarters. The few amazons they pass stutter in surprise and shock at the sight of their long-lost sister, but Clarke does not take the time to register them. She has time later. Right now, she has only one thing on her mind.

 

When they approach the great oak doors of the Queen’s quarters, Octavia hesitated, looking back at Clarke for permission. Clarke breathed deeply, trying to calm the fraying nerves sparking across her body, before nodding. The doors groaned open, the sound startling nostalgic to blonde's ears. The familiar sight of their room assaulted Clarke's senses. The candles lit across the room illuminating the worn furniture, the armor and weapons lining the walls, the bed she and Lexa had formed so many fond memories of. The scent alone triggered a deep ache and longing within Clarke.

 

Lexa was not to be seen. Octavia looked back at Clarke, her eyes calm and filled with quiet understanding.

 

“She is not yet back from dealing with the Erinyes, but she is expected to return tonight. Are you alright here?”

 

Clarke nodded slowly, her heart still pounding relentlessly in her chest. Octavia bided her farewell, closing the double doors behind her and leaving Clarke alone to stew in her chaotic bundle of emotions. She cannot seem to quiet her nerves to do much else other than sit in the dark corner of the room and wait. Her arms are crossed, her legs jittering as she waits for Lexa to return. She rehearsed all the things she wanted to say to Lexa - how sorry she is that she left, how much she missed her, how she managed to escape Ares, how she is finally safe and free to stay in Themyscira, with Lexa. Thoughts that have accumulated for over a hundred years bounced inside her skull. Despite her attempts at organizing them, she was deathly afraid she will fail massively when the time comes.

 

The candles have melted nearly an inch by the time Clarke heard incoming footsteps. She stood up abruptly, her body suddenly buzzing with anticipation. She was still masked in the shadows when the doors opened.

 

Lexa entered, her light armor clinking as the mantle behind her trailed regally on the marble floors. The sight of her alone flooded Clarke with love and adoration. Lexa was as beautiful and wondrous as she remembered. Clarke indulged and let her eyes roam over her love. Lexa was thinner. The tiredness and circles around her eyes are more pronounce than how Clarke remembered. But the brilliant green color was as sharp as the day she rescued Clarke from the ocean. She knew that Lexa could not have aged, just as Clarke had not in the years they had been apart. Yet she looked older, more weary, than ever before. Her heart ached with guilt knowing that she was the cause of it. Her fingers tingled with the urge to reach out and touch Lexa. She had yet to notice Clarke’s presence, her attention exhausted by her mission and currently occupied instead to the scrolls lying haphazardly on the table.

 

With a deep breath, Clarke stepped forward out from the shadows and into the light. Lexa immediately registered the movement. The queen whipped around, her hand flying to the small dagger strapped to her thigh. Her face was set in grim readiness, her eyes blazing to battle her unknown enemy. When those eyes landed on Clarke, Lexa froze.

 

Her stare shot right through Clarke’s chest, paralyzing both of them where they stood. After a century apart, here they were – together, at last – and yet they hesitated. How much have they changed? Will they even recognize each other as the people they once were? Does Lexa resent her for leaving? Trepidation spread throughout Clarke.

 

“Hey,” Clarke breathed, finally filling the empty silence between them. The casual greeting was not nearly enough to express how much she has missed Lexa, and yet she can’t bring herself to say any more.

 

Lexa’s face flashed with an open expression of such pain and longing. Then it was gone, replaced with a stony visage just barely masking a sudden simmering rage. The cold gaze threw Clarke off balance, her heart clenching in her chest.

 

“You are not real,” Lexa said icily. Clarke balked at the pure hatred seeping in Lexa’s voice.

 

“W-what?” Clarke breathed, her eyes wide and incredulous. “Lexa, it’s me, Clarke.” _Your Clarke._

 

“Clarke is lost,” Lexa hissed, her face turning ugly with pain. “And you are not welcome here.”

 

Clarke’s gut twisted at those words. “No, wait, Lexa just -”

 

“Do you think me a fool, Ares?” Lexa seethed, her mouth set in a vicious snarl. “Do you think a mere apparition of the love you took from me would send me onto my knees?”

 

Lexa stalked forward, the rage seeping from her forcing Clarke to take a cautious step back.

 

“After everything Clarke sacrificed to save our people, to save _humanity_ , you think I would so glibly sully her memory and run after the first specter I see of her?”

 

Clarke's eyes widen in horror as understanding dawned on her. Has Ares done this before? Has he used her memory to torment Lexa? A shiver crawled down her spine thinking of how many times this has happened before to make Lexa react this way.

 

“Lexa, I’m real, I’m here,” Clarke pleaded, her hands coming up in supplication. “Just look at me, see me - ”

 

“I see her every day!” Lexa roared as her eyes cloud over with anguish. “Every night when I sleep, I see her. Every touch, every sound she makes, every look she's ever given me - I feel it in the depths of my soul. And I wake up only to lose her, again and again.”

 

A sob escaped from Clarke. Gods, what has she done? How could she have let this happen? Had she waited to long?

 

Lexa lurched forward, her hands clenched in fists as she glared at Clarke.

 

“Is this not what you wanted, Ares? Lexa hissed. "Have you come to gloat?”

 

“Look at me, Lexa!” Clarke took a step forward, unable to stand the sight of Lexa so tortured and anguished before her.

 

“No,” Lexa growled, her hands coming to grip onto the pommel of her sword. “Leave or I will make you leave.”

 

A sudden surge of anger rose in Clarke. Without a thought, she stomped towards Lexa, her steps hard and forceful on the ground until she remained only a foot away from her love.

 

“Stop being so goddamn stubborn and just look!”

 

The abrupt proximity between them must have been enough to stun the queen into silence. The hardness in her face fell as the rage died down in her green eyes. What little emotion that remained in Lexa's eyes was still wary, but Clarke could see the spark of something new rise within them - fear, uncertainty, _hope._

 

Clarke softened, her eyes roaming over Lexa. Her whole body yearned to reach out and touch her.

 

“ _Look at me_.”

 

The following seconds pass tortuously for Clarke as sharp eyes rake over her. They scan her body almost angrily, green flashing with suspicion and caution as they would in battle assessing a threat. Lexa appraised Clarke in a calculated and clinical fashion. She could almost hear the internal monologue running through Lexa’s head - _yes, two hands, correctly mimics in color and tone, and the curve of her hips are just as I remembered, clever War God._ A near minute went by like this, with Clarke standing frozen beneath the skeptical gaze of her past love.

 

Clarke grew more and more anxious that Lexa would never break out of this haze, would never trust her eyes enough to believe her. And as the seconds ticked, the healer's heart began to sink with dread. That piercing look, the one that used to send pleasant chills down Clarke's spine, was now focusing on Clarke's every detail. But it was in Lexa's eyes, that brilliant and lively gaze, that Clarke saw a spark of hope that nearly stole her breath away. Lexa was gazing at her differently now. She was looking now, _really_ looking, searching for a sign that this mirage might not shimmer away this time.

 

Quiet desperation washed over her face as Lexa began to see the details she refused to see only minutes before. The weariness in Clarke’s eyes was new yet familiar - Lexa saw it every day reflected back to her in the mirror. The subtle changes in the angles of Clarke's face did not match the fullness in her dreams. The things that had drawn Lexa in from the moment they met - the fierceness in those sapphire eyes, the determined set of her full lips, the furrow between her eyebrows that only went away when Lexa swiped her finger across, were present in a way her hallucinations could never replicate. _Could it be...? Dare she hope...?_

 

“Clarke?” Lexa's voice was so soft, so vulnerable, full of trepidation for the hope she can no longer hold at bay. Clarke's breath hitched at the sound of her name spoken through those lips, through that voice. Clarke smiled tearfully as she nodded, her breath coming in short gasps as joyful sobs threaten to escape.

 

Lexa inched forward, her eyes wide and lips trembling as hope and disbelief crash over her. Her eyes flit across Clarke's entire being as if she needed to check and double check the reality of her presence. Clarke fought every urge in her body not to crush herself to Lexa, who was slowly but inexorably inching closer and closer. Clarke had waited a long time to reach this moment, she could bear to wait a little longer if it meant giving Lexa her time to process.

 

With shaking fingers, the Amazon queen lifted her hand, hovering only a few hairs breadth away from Clarke's flushed cheeks. A sudden flash of fear washed over her face, her hand jerking back as Lexa reacted naturally to her self-preservation reflex. Clarke tried not to let the hurt show in her eyes. Lexa bit her lip, her expression still unsure and filled with doubt, but the yearning in her eyes overpowered her. Her hand returned to hover over Clarke's face, her fingers trembling.

 

"Clarke?" Lexa asked again, her voice breaking as her beloved's name escaped in a choked whisper. Clarke could not answer, her entire body too wound up in anticipation as she desperately kept herself rooted to the ground.

 

And then Lexa touched her. Cool fingers brushed tentatively across her cheek, a whisper of a caress grazing her skin. It might as well have been a punch to the face. Clarke let out a gasp as her entire emotional dam collapsed. Tears streamed freely down her face. A wide smile threatened to split her face in half as happy sobs wracked her body. Lexa's own sharp intake of surprise was soon overwhelmed with a look that made Clarke's chest tighten with heartache. Lexa gazed at Clarke with a look so soft, so childlike in its quiet awe and disbelief. She looked as if her mind had gone completely blank, like all her fear and suspicion washed away with a single touch, and all that remained was wonder.

 

"Oh," Lexa breathed out, her realization sounding so soft and innocent in her melodic voice.

 

Clarke couldn't stand it anymore. Without any warning or preamble, she threw herself into Lexa's arms, her own coming to wrap around her in a tight and desperate grip. She pushed her face into the crook of Lexa's neck right between her shoulder guard, the motion familiar and entirely from muscle memory that ached with disuse. She weaved her hands into the curly brown mass, her hands remembering its softness and smoothness. Lexa stood frozen in shock, her body and mind unable to comprehend or withstand the onslaught of Clarke suddenly filling her senses. Clarke didn't care. Clarke clung to Lexa, her body simultaneously combusting and melting into the strong form pressed against her chest. How parched her body had been of contact these last hundred years, and oh how good, how _wonderful_ it was to feel her again.

 

Slender arms, first tentative, then desperate, wound themselves around Clarke's waist, squeezing so tightly Clarke could barely breath. But neither cared about breathing, not when they finally had what they had yearned and ached for across one hundred and fifty years back in their arms again.

 

“ _Clarke_.” Lexa sobbed, her voice muffled as she pressed her face into Clarke's shoulder and openly weeped. A hand weaved into blonde hair and grasped desperately. The queen held onto her love so tightly against her chest as if she wanted to fuse them, skin to skin, until two became one, never to be separated again. Clarke felt Lexa's tears soak through her shirt, and even though her sobs were full of joy, the sound of Lexa's cries still pulled at Clarke's heartstrings.

 

"I'm here, I'm here," Clarke brushed her lips against Lexa's collarbone and felt an answering shudder pass through the warrior's body. "I love you. I'm with you. I'm never leaving."

 

Lexa continued to weep, years and years of pent up anguish spilling out as the two lovers clung to each other. They remain pressed up against each other for minutes, hours, an innumerable amount of time. So much time had passed that the candles melted and the air grew chilly. But why should they care about time? Time was once their enemy. Then it became their luxury. And now, for the past one hundred and fifty years, time had been their prison. Until now. Perhaps now, as they continue to hold each other like they were each other's lifeline, time could take a backseat.

 

When both women could calm their racing hearts and still their gasping breaths, shirts were soaked in happy tears and fatigued arms ached from serpentine grips finally loosening their hold. Clarke pulled away, but only just enough to bring her eyes back to Lexa's. She couldn't resist indulging her habit of skimming her nose up the slender column of Lexa's neck, running the tip across a sharp jawline and preening at the hitched breath that followed. She met eyes so tender and loving staring right back at her, still damp eyes never daring to blink lest Clarke disappear. A gentle hand came up to brush the side of Clarke's face. Clarke hummed and leaned into the touch, loving the way warmth blossomed across her skin.

 

"Clarke," Lexa breathed, the utter joy in her voice betraying the small smile plastered across her face. "It is you, isn't it?"

 

Clarke laughed, throwing her head back slightly at how shy and nervous the Amazon queen sounded. "Yes, Lexa. I'm afraid it is."

 

Relief washed over Lexa's face as she continued to stroke the stray blonde hairs away from Clarke's face.

 

“You promise you’re not here to torment me?” The levity of Lexa's tone implied a tease, but the anxious crease of her eyebrow betrayed her.

 

Clarke swallowed the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her at the sight of Lexa so vulnerable and frightened. She coaxed Lexa closer, bringing their foreheads together and nuzzling her cheek. She closed her eyes and her lips trembled. The feeling of Lexa, of her breath across her lips, of the flitting of her eyelashes on her cheek, was completely overwhelming.

 

"I promise, Lexa. I'm not going to leave you. Never again."

 

Lexa sighed against Clarke's cheek, her hand now cradling her face in a way that kept her close. Lexa held still for a moment before giving a tight nod, letting herself take comfort in Clarke's words despite her reluctance to leave herself vulnerable again. Like a defense mechanism, Lexa's hand around her waist gripped tighter, unwilling to let Clarke move even just a fraction away from her.

 

She let herself relax into Clarke ever so slightly. Clarke strengthened her grip around Lexa, supporting her as she leaned against her. She felt Lexa take a deep inhale from her neck, felt the content sigh warm her collarbone as Lexa breathed Clarke in. Like a moment out of time, both women let the serenity of this moment sink in unworried about the how, when, and why this moment arrived. They let the comfort of each other's embrace ooze over them like a balm for their souls. Their breaths synced, their heartbeats pumped to the same rhythm.

 

Without warning, Lexa jerked away from Clarke as if suddenly remembering the past century. Her eyes were wide with worry as she stared at Clarke. "Ares..."

 

Hands flitted over Clarke, prodding and grasping onto her face and neck, her shoulder and her waist. Green eyes dart frantically as she searched for any signs of harm on her beloved's body.

 

"He didn't...? Did he ever...? If he laid a hand on you I will kill -"

 

"No, no Lexa," Clarke quickly replied, her hands seeking out Lexa's that were currently examining the sides of her neck. She held them there, clasping gently around slender wrists and feeling the racing pulse beneath her thumbs.

 

"I'm alright," Clarke reassured, her voice soft and calm. "He didn't hurt me. No one did."

 

Doubt lingered in eyes still wide and guilty. Tension still coursed through Lexa, her jaw clenched and lips set in a tight frown. Only the soft stare of glowing blue eyes convinced the queen to deflate with a defeated sigh.

 

"How?" Lexa voice still slightly breathless with incredulity. "Clarke, how are you here? How did you escape Ares? How...how are you with me?"

 

"I didn't escape. I asked." Clarke let out a wry chuckle as she massaged her fingers across knuckles and over Lexa's strong pulse. "Well, perhaps I...coerced him to reconsider our arrangement."

 

Clarke indulged in the way Lexa stared at her, eyes brilliant and glimmering with pride and curiosity. Clarke shifted her fingers to entangle with Lexa's, clasping them snugly to where they rested on top of her shoulder.

 

"It's a long story, but I forced Ares into a situation where he had to listen to my demands. I knew I could never overpower him, so I tried to outthink him. Not an easy task, mind you."

 

Lexa chuckled, her fingers squeezing lightly. The smile that graced her face took Clarke's breath away.

 

"My Clarke, outwitting the Gods themselves." The pride and adoration shone clear and bright in her soft words.

 

“Looks like we’re even,” Clarke reciprocated, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

 

Lexa pressed in closer, her insides quivering as she continued to inhale Clarke's scent, to register Clarke's presence. The surreal feeling of it all overwhelmed her.

 

"I...I'm having a hard time believing this is real," Lexa murmured, her eyes downcast and unsure.

 

"I scarcely believe it myself. But I promise, I will never leave you again."

 

Skeptical eyes glanced up at Clarke, eyebrows knotting at the blanket promise said so resolutely.

 

"You can't promise that."

 

Lexa's words were so soft they were barely heard above a whisper. Clarke leaned forward until her forehead pressed against Lexa's. She closed her eyes and willed herself to reign in her emotions.

 

"No," Clarke resigned, her words quiet and calm. "But it's not going to stop me from meaning it and wishing it with every fiber of my being."

 

A deep shaking sigh escaped from Lexa's lips. Fingers relaxed their entanglement to wind up against Clarke's neck, stroking so gently and lovingly it stole her breath away.

 

"I wish it too, with every part of my heart, I want it."

 

Lexa pulled away and let out of a bitter huff of laugh, the guilt in her eyes not escaping Clarke's keen gaze. Clarke quirk her brows, tilting her head and giving Lexa a look that gently demanded the thoughts tangled in her head. The queen could only acquiesce.

 

"My heart," Lexa repeated.

 

"What about it?"

 

"That's what caused all of this. That's what took you away from me. That's what made you suffer for years, alone, afraid, with no free will."

 

Clarke made to argue, to say just how wrong Lexa was to think this way, but she was stopped with a gentle shake of Lexa's head. Not without difficulty, Clarke quieted, noticing the way Lexa fidgeted with the thoughts that weighed on her mind. Her hands came up to stroke long brushes against Lexa's spine, softly encouraging her to unwind. She would let Lexa have this - she wanted her to unload on her if only to ease her own heartache.

 

“You have no idea how much I wanted to cut out my own heart and destroy the part of me that gave him power over you. The reason you were suffering, the reason why you were taken from me, was beating right in the center of my chest. It was nauseating. I had no idea what he was doing to you. Was he hurting you? Torturing you? Or worse..." Lexa paled at the thought of bloody greedy hands on Clarke, holding Clarke, _forcing_ Clarke. She swallowed the bile that crept up her throat.

 

"I would have rather died if that meant setting you free,” Lexa confessed, her eyes shining and so full of self-sacrifice.

 

A sharp chill flashed down Clarke's spine with Lexa's words. She could not imagine a world without Lexa in it, let alone live in such a nightmare. She clutched onto the wings of Lexa's shoulder blades, keeping her close and feeling the reassuring pump of her heart beating against her chest.

 

“But you couldn’t have known it would work, Lexa. And we both know why you wouldn’t do it in the end.”

 

Clarke only received a hum for a reply, but she didn't press the issue further. Rather, the chronic weight that had been pressing on her chest for years gained a new acuity, sharp and throbbing, as it sought to stifle her breathing. The guilt of leaving Lexa had been building up, inexorably and insidiously, that now it was threatening to bubble over in the most unfashionable way.

 

“I –,” Clarke swallowed, her words feeling thick as her throat tightened with emotion, “I _left_ you. I broke my promise and abandoned you. The thought of me being the cause of your pain, it’s – it broke my heart.”

 

Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. Clarke glared at nothing as she tried to will her eyes from tearing.

 

" _I'm_ _sorry_ ," Clarke whispered, echoing the last words she had uttered to Lexa that terrible day so many years ago.

 

Nails clutched tightly onto Lexa’s shoulders as she threatened to come apart at the seams. She couldn’t bear to look up into those soft green eyes, those eyes that would so easily forgive, so easily take the blame. Clarke would not let herself get off so easily.

 

Lexa wasn’t making it easy for her. She could feel Lexa shaking her head fervently, her lover eager to lessen the guilt pressing down on her chest.

 

“But if it wasn’t for me, if I wasn’t so bound to my duty, I could have –”

 

“Hey, I don’t blame you,” Clarke quickly interrupted, her hand coming up to reassuringly stroke the edge of Lexa’s jaw. She looked up and stared deep into emerald eyes with conviction. “I have never and will never blame you for being who you are.”

 

Clarke released a long sigh, her exhaustion and weariness seeping through. “In the end, it was my choice, my words that sealed our fate. It will be a long time before I can begin to forgive myself for the consequences of my actions.”

 

She shifted her hand to lie on Lexa’s chest, her palm feeling the steady strong heartbeat thrumming beneath distressed leather. She took another sigh before glancing at Lexa, who was still gazing at her with an indecipherable expression on her face.

 

“But I own those regrets,” Clarke murmured, her hand pressing ever so lightly. “They are mine to bear, and you have to let me carry them.”

 

Clarke stared unwavering at Lexa, her face clearly conveying that this was nonnegotiable. Clarke needed this to be on her. She needed to go through this painful process in order to heal, just as she had with her father. Part of her knew that if she allowed Lexa to take responsibility, she would never be able to mend herself together again. The wounds on her soul would remain raw, a residual reminder that she would never be able to let go.

 

A warm hand landed on top of hers resting on her chest, gently squeezing in quiet understanding. Lexa was looking at Clarke with an expression so open, so soft and full of understanding that she could not stop her eyes from stinging. She felt Lexa brush the stray hairs from her eyes, felt the warmth seep through her skin as she cupped the side of her face. A sad smile tugged at Lexa’s lips.

 

“If that is what you need,” Lexa whispered, her voice soft and reassuring like a mother would coo to an upset child. Her thumb rubbed small circles across Clarke’s cheekbone.

 

“But if you cannot forgive yourself,” Lexa shifted so that both hands now cupped Clarke’s face, “then let me.”

 

Lexa tilted Clarke ever so slightly so that she could not escape her gaze.

 

“I forgive you, Clarke.” Lexa let all her love seep into her words, giving a small smile as she brushed Clarke’s cheek. “I never blamed you in the first place. We both knew it was the right thing to do. You were always stronger than me, braver than me, in the ways that mattered. You were strong enough to do what had to be done.”

 

Lexa leaned down until she and Clarke were only inches away. Her eyes roamed across Clarke’s face as if she were still marveling at what she was seeing. Lexa’s fingers brushed the baby hairs above her jaw, toying with soft strands before tucking them behind Clarke’s ears.

 

“And you were brave enough to come back to me when I thought I had lost you forever.” Lexa’s gentle words grazed over Clarke like a cool breeze, a balm spread over to sooth unseen wounds. “So while I am unable to shoulder the blame, I can give you what little I can offer, and that is my unwavering trust and absolute love for you.“

 

Lexa inched forward, unable to resist being even a hair’s breadth away from Clarke anymore. Clarke held her breath, her heart beating rapidly in anticipation as she felt Lexa’s nose skim hers. Just as Clarke was about to slip her eyes shut and wait for the blissful press of soft lips against hers, she felt Lexa hesitate. Her eyes snapped open to find emerald eyes swimming with barely concealed panic.

 

Lexa swallowed as if trying to stem the fear anchoring in her heart. Even with Clarke before her, even with the prospect of fulfilling her heart’s every desire, she could not bring herself to open herself up again. She needed something from Clarke, something she could never guarantee. Yet her useless heart begged for it nonetheless.

 

“Clarke, when Ares made that deal all those years ago, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much pain in my life. We had nearly half a millennia together, and it wasn’t nearly enough to make your leaving any less painful. I don’t think there will ever be a time long enough where I would be willing to give you up.”

 

Lexa took a shuddering gasp as tears betrayed her and slid down her cheek. Her lips were so close to Clarke’s, her words breezing across full lips as she looked into wide blue eyes.

 

“I know it is useless, to plead and promise with words we cannot keep. But please Clarke, I beg you, do not go where I cannot follow. Do not leave me in a world where I cannot find you.”

 

Lexa’s last words were spoken barely above a whisper, words trembling and broken as heartbreak and pain overwhelmed her. Clarke could only nod desperately in return, her own tears rendering her speechless. She didn’t care if such promises could last the test of time. She didn’t care about how tenuous and fragile love can be in a world so full of violence and hate. All she care about, all she _wanted_ , was to remain forever with the woman who was pressed so tightly against her – logic be damned.

 

Clarke caressed Lexa’s cheek with the tips of her fingers, reveling in the shuddering breath that escaped Lexa and grazed across her lips. Clarke could not help but smile at how close she was to finally soothing that ache in her soul.

 

"I think it's time for us to be happy again," Clarke murmured, her lips inching forward to brush over Lexa’s. The answering shiver that blazed through both women nearly collapsed them where they stood. Each woman’s breath was coming in rapid gasps, hearts elated in anticipation as memories of endless nights flooded back. _So soon_.

 

“We have suffered long enough, haven’t we?”

 

And with those words saturating the air around them, Clarke wrapped her hand around the back of Lexa’s neck and finally, _finally_ , pulled her in and captured her lips.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAH I'm in a GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS. I was technically working on this chapter months ago, but I managed to finally crank out the rest of it today, in the wee hours of the morning. Did I deliver? Please dear god say yes because I am exhausted...
> 
> BUT, I am super excited to share the next arc (*cough cough* baby of clay *cough*), but I do still have to write the majority of it. So apologies if it takes a bit longer to get it out. BUT I WILL *raises fist to gods in defiance*
> 
> Thank you soo much for reading and sticking with me after all this time. You guys are honestly the best. Sending giant kisses your way!


	8. A True Daughter of Amazon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When duty clashes with love, a prophecy is fulfilled, and a new hope is kindled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE Y'ALL. I HAVE RISEN LIKE CHRIST HIMSELF ON THIS BEAUTIFUL EASTER SUNDAY.
> 
> I am so sorry for the wait, but to quote Diana - "a promise is unbreakable." Thank you so much for sticking with me. I battled the writer's block long and hard with this one, but I think I'm finally satisfied. This chapter features the build up to a major event for Clarke and Lexa. I feel many people have been anticipating this moment, so I really hope this delivers! Also sorry for the constant POV shifts, but seriously I nearly gave up with this chapter and the writer's block so POVs be damned. 
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul, so please leave something for me below! And [come say hi](https://almavivadreams.tumblr.com) on tumblr!

 

 

_There was a rumble in the pavement beneath her feet, the breeze of winds both hot and cold across her skin. A hum, ancient and primordial, the sound of the earth itself, resonated in her flesh and bone. And voices, so many voices._

_“…Lexa”_

_“Amazon!”_

_“My Queen…”_

_“I’m sorry…”_

_In the quiet cacophony, the voices long lost to memory rose like ghosts to greet her -- the quiet pride in her mentor’s praise, the light laughter of young love and the angry shout of the one who cut it down, the murmur of her soul’s companion as she bade her farewell._

_And another voice._

_“…Alexandria…”_

_Her first thought was of her mother, the one she lost long ago, who’s face was now obscured with time but who’s comfort still rested in the pits of her heart. But no…_

_“you must…”_

_Not her mother, but…_ a _Mother._

_“The Amazons…must have…”_

_“…a queen!”_

_In the distance a shrill cry from a fawn pierced through the fog of sound. But no, it could not have been a fawn. It was far too strong and vibrant to be that of such a pitiable creature._

_It wasn’t…it_ couldn’t _be…_

Lexa awoke with a start. Her heart pounded in her chest, her blood rushing through her body more in confusion than in fear. Green eyes scanned around to land on familiar sheer curtains hanging from the wooden posts around her bed. The sky beyond was just turning blue as dawn crept up to the horizon. The world was silent with only the sound of soft breathing beside her ear. She could feel Clarke’s chest gently rise and fall behind her, the embrace of pale arms wrapped around her torso that never loosened since they fell into bed together last night. Closing her eyes with a deep exhale, Lexa shifted to brush her hands up and down Clarke’s arms as she sought the comfort of her presence.

 

As she intertwined their fingers, Lexa felt them return her grip as the breathing behind her stuttered. A sharp inhale followed by what could only be described as a dignified squeak escaped the woman beside her. Overwhelmed by the sudden swell of adoration in her heart, she gently raised their entwined hands to leave feather-light kisses upon Clarke’s knuckles.

 

“Mmmm, Lexa…” Clarke mumbled, lips too lazy to enunciate while they were smothered against the nape of her neck. Lexa grinned, never tiring of the way Clarke’s sleep-laden voice rasped and rumbled.

 

“I’m sorry to wake you, Clarke,” her voice not entirely convincing in her apology.

 

Clarke responded with a groan, her arms wrapping tighter to gather Lexa closer to her chest as she buried her nose in dark curls. Her hands pressed up against Lexa’s sternum.

 

“Your heart is pounding, love,” Clarke shifted so that her lips brushed against the shell of her ear. “Are you alright?”

 

Lexa hummed, her thumb brushing over Clarke’s reassuringly. It was not uncommon for either of them to startle out of restless dreams. On nights where Clarke would jerk awake with her father’s emaciated boil-covered body still seared in her mind, or when Lexa would shudder into consciousness still feeling Costia’s warm blood on her hands and knees, they would be showered with soft caresses and hushed kisses until their hearts stopped racing.

 

She turned around to face Clarke, who upon settling into their new position reestablished her tight embrace around Lexa and nuzzled her way back into the nook of her neck. Lexa returned her grip as she wrapped her arms around soft shoulders, her lips coming up to press a lingering kiss on Clarke’s temple.

 

“It was nothing, Clarke,” she whispered, lips now skimming along smooth skin and evening out a furrowed brow, “only a dream. Go back to sleep.”

 

Lifting her head from her cozy nook, Clarke ignored her to lay her head next to Lexa’s, her eyes slowly lifting as she fought sleep. Lexa could not help the stutter in her breath as she gazed upon lovely blue eyes. Clarke snaked an arm between their bodies to lay her palm against the queen’s cheek, her thumb gently caressing over prominent cheekbones. Lexa angled herself into her warm touch, a sigh escaping her lips.

 

“You know you can tell me anything, Lexa,” Clarke murmured, her forehead now tipping forward to meet Lexa’s. “I’ll always be here for you.”

 

A smile quirked on full lips as Lexa breathed in Clarke’s lavender scent. “Thank the goddess for that.”

 

They chuckled, both enjoying a few precious moments of just being together with no interruptions and no duties beyond the ones they devoted to each other. The sky was still a dark blue, yet they felt bathed in the warmth of a love that could only exist when time was endless. In the innocence of the moment, a wicked look flashed across Clarke’s expression, her chin tilting as she arched her eyebrows dangerously.

 

“Want me to kiss it better?” Clarke’s voice dipped low and dripped with honey-soaked intentions that sparked a ferocious heat deep in Lexa’s belly.

 

Suddenly, every touch was fire and every inch between them was a mile too far away. With a smirk that sent Clarke’s heart racing, Lexa crashed into waiting lips, a hungry growl of satisfaction rumbling deep in her chest. Clarke returned her kiss with equal fervor, parting her lips with a moan and pulling Lexa in so that they were pressed skin to skin, legs slotted in a way that made both women gasp. Lexa deepened the kiss, pushing forward to lay on top of Clarke, letting her feel the full weight of her body knowing how much Clarke relished the feeling. Lexa heard a moan stretch out between them, unsure whether she or Clarke had released it. Hands found each other to intertwine once more, anchored to each other as they lost themselves bathed in the glow of a new dawn.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

A pained cry tore from between gritted teeth as the bandage squeezed tightly around Lexa’s bleeding shoulder. Bright blue eyes glowered at her, the fire burning within them unmistakably stoked by anger and fear. They furiously blinked away the trickle of blood that oozed from a gash right above her left eyebrow. Lexa let out a curse as knowledgeable hands gave another rough press to her shoulder.

 

“What were you thinking, Lexa?” Clarke hissed, her jaw clenched tight with barely contained fury. Her hands continued to work with practiced speed, but they trembled as fingers worked to tie two bandage strips together. “That cursed beast nearly tore your arm off!”

 

Lexa let out another groan as Clarke moved her arm into a crooked position, the muscle of her shoulders protesting with every minute twitch. She tried not to notice how Clarke’s eyes softened slightly with worry at the sound of her pain. The slain creature lay forgotten in a broken heap behind them.

 

“What was I suppose to do, Clarke, let its teeth close around your neck instead?”

 

“It had _eight heads_ , Lexa,” Clarke retorted, the rasp in her voice adding to her exasperation, her eyes hardening again. “If I recall correctly, you were rather preoccupied with seven of them!”

 

“So I wasn’t supposed to protect the woman I love?” Lexa countered, her own frustration leaking into her voice, “despite having explicitly told her not to come?”

 

“I came because of _you_ ,” the healer snapped, blue eyes darting back to glare at Lexa as if daring her to deny it. “I came because I couldn’t stand by while you threw yourself headfirst into danger with a half-baked plan.”

 

Clarke punctuated her retort with a rough pull of a knot on Lexa’s bandage. Lexa let out a sharp yelp as her face contorted in pain. She felt kinder hands massage the area and brush away sticky strands of hair from her cheeks. Lexa sucked in a few deep breaths before reopening her eyes. Despite the apologetic gesture in her hands, Clarke still wore an expression rigid with anger. Lexa sighed.

 

“You know there was no time left. You know I had no other option. You know this is my duty!”

 

“And you know that I can’t lose you!” Clarke yelled, her eyebrows knitting together tortuously as she clenched her trembling fingers into white-knuckled fists. Her chest heaved unevenly as she forced her breathing to slow down. Her pulse raced so ferociously that it beat visibly at her strained neck. Lexa froze, only now just realizing through the foggy haze of pain how close Clarke was to breaking at this moment. Beneath that angry scowling mask, Clarke was terrified.

 

The last time Lexa had seen Clarke wear such an expression, she was finishing off the last of a terrible invasion of Echidna’s monstrous offspring. It was an exhausting, brutal, and unforgiving day, one that lasted in her bones for days after. That day, when the last wave of injured was stable, Clarke had raced to the battlefield, her gut clenching with dread at the absence of news from the Queen. The thrum of battle raged within her as she fought off the last of the monsters, and at the sight of Lexa, bloody, fierce and so goddamn alive, Clarke could not contain her emotions any longer.

 

That evening, Clarke took Lexa with a need that was nothing short of primal. A hunger raged deep within her, threatening to consume her if she did not consume Lexa completely that evening. She was desperate to feel Lexa underneath her, panting, wanting, to hear her heart beating furiously as a loud reminder that Lexa was safe, that Lexa hadn’t left her to wander this earth alone. Anger fueled her rough movements, kindled by Lexa for having so casually risk her life. Deep-seated frustration reared its ugly head knowing that Clarke did not have the power to convince Lexa to never do that again. But that evening, for those few precious hours, Lexa was here, underneath her, entirely yielding to her every touch. For just that night, Lexa was hers completely, and she was Lexa’s, body and soul. And she slowly, but surely ravaged her like it was the last time.

 

Now, Lexa’s heart ached at the sight of that same terror in Clarke, and that ache settled deeper in Lexa knowing that she was the cause behind it. It was a constant guilt, a lasting reminder of her personal sacrifice, of what she could not give the person who had chosen to spend eternity with her. She looked at her lover now, her face dirtied and bloodied because she had come to protect what she loved, and that guilt gnawed deeper.

 

“Clarke…”

 

The healer dropped her gaze knowing what Lexa saw in them. She knew it did neither of them any good to harbor consternation when it had little hope of resolution. She knew that Lexa would never let her feel such pain if she had any power of it. But seeing Lexa nearly in the grips of razor sharp teeth as long as daggers – it turned her vision red.

 

“Lexa,” she murmured, her ire fading into the distance, “I will never stop you from doing your duty. I accepted the risks long ago of loving someone who must always put others before me.”

 

With a sigh, Clarke placed one hand on the curve of Lexa’s jaw before lowering her head to press against Lexa’s. She took comfort in the warm breaths that fluttered over her lips. She gazed at green eyes that stared back with a similar intensity.

 

“But as long as the eyes of Wise Pallas are grey,” Clarke whispered, her voice no less commanding, “you better get use to me charging into battle to keep your foolish head alive and well.”

 

A defeated chuckle huffed out of Lexa, a small delightful chuff of tired amusement that relieved some of the weight on Clarke’s chest. With a small sigh, she brushed up against Lexa’s nose and leaned in to bring their lips together. The gentle press of the kiss soothed her soul like a balm, the feeling of Lexa pressing back against her a panacea that no herb or tonic in her pantry could accomplish. The kiss naturally deepened, and on her lips, Lexa felt Clarke’s desperation as she chased bruised lips and gasped at the sensation. Clarke fisted a hand into Lexa’s wavy curls as if to ground herself, keeping Lexa closely pressed to her as if she could not bear to be away from her. The kiss ebbed, the energy dying down from the fiery rage of their passionate reconnection to a calmer glowing ember. When they eventually pulled apart, she heard Lexa slip a small sigh onto her cheek.

 

“I’m sorry Clarke.” A hand came up to gently wipe away the blood from her eyes. “I know your anger comes from a place of love.”

 

Lexa gazed sadly at her lover, her fingers coming to rest upon her cheek. “You deserve more than I can give you. You shouldn’t have to accept my incomplete love.”

 

Clarke sighed. “Don’t be like that, you’ll draw the drama chorus with your maudlin mumbles.” Lexa chuckled. “You know you are more than enough for me.”

 

“I do, as you are for me.” A knowing smile touched Lexa’s lips, lowering her gaze in quiet rumination before looking back up at Clarke. “But if I could give you more, if that ever became a possibility, would you want it?”

 

Clarke was silent, but her eyes shone with longing. Lexa knew she was looking at Clarke with the same expression across her face. They gravitated towards each other, foreheads pressing together in silent acknowledgement of the unspoken answer. A few seconds pass like this, with neither woman quite ready to let the other go. It took a wince and small grimace from Clarke when Lexa brushed the cut above her eyebrow for them to realize that their wounds needed attention. Clarke straightened, the healer suddenly appearing in her steady posture and clinical voice.

 

“Come,” she beckoned, “we should go back to the infirmary. There’s a particular antiseptic I need for this ghoulish wound of yours.”

 

Lexa grimaced.

 

“…It’s the one that stings like Hades’ arse, isn’t it?”

 

“ _Eight heads_ , Lexa.”

 

 

 

~*~

 

Once again, it came to her in dreams.

 

The whispers, the hum of the earth, the rumbling of the world’s engines beneath her feet.

 

The dreams were no longer strangers to Lexa, the ghosts of her past lingering in her sleep like old acquaintances. It seemed like the longer the Queen’s immortal life stretched, the more her memory sought to leave behind imprints, refusing to let the Amazon forget the moments that shaped her. They hovered like an amorphous cloud of sounds, smells, and feelings around her. When before she fought, Lexa now embraced. She was in the middle of enjoying a particular aromatic memory of the season’s first oranges when the chorus dimmed, replaced by a sound that felt as old as time itself.

 

_“Do not be afraid, child.”_

 

The voice, as if spoken through the mouths of thousands, echoed in the vast existence of her dream world. Ancient and primordial as it was, it spoke to sooth and comfort.

 

“I would not fear as much if you showed yourself,” Lexa replied, her tone cautious nonetheless.

 

A chuckle the sound of wind chimes and rain sounded in the air.

 

_“Do you not recognize me, child?”_

 

The voice was feminine. But there was something in that voice that felt so familiar and yet so distant. Long ago, Lexa could remember a voice sounding like that – a face she could no longer remember, but the _feeling_ of comfort, of warmth, of safety in a time when all was innocent. She remembered that.

 

“Mother?” Lexa hesitated, feeling a bit foolish it her vulnerability.

 

Silence.

 

“No…” Lexa paused, her thoughts racing, “The Mother.”

 

A hum of approval rumbled in the dirt beneath her feet.

 

“Gaea, the All-mother, the Goddess of Earth. Mother of all creation.”

 

The words spilled from her as her mind sought to comprehend the presence before her. She had spoken indirectly to gods before, felt their gifts and their wraths, even cursed them in times of despair. Yet nothing could have prepared her for Gaea. Everything had begun with Her, every essence on this earth was birthed through Her, loved by Her, and mourned by Her. For the first time in a long time, Lexa felt small and mortal in Her presence. With awe, Lexa dropped to her knees, her head bowed in dereference.

 

_“Hello, my child. How wonderful it is to speak with you at last.”_

A gentle breeze grazed over Lexa’s cheeks. She can almost feel the light touch of fingertips on her skin. The genuine pride in Gaea’s voice fills Lexa to the brim with muted happiness. Like a heavy blanket, comfort pressed around her, warm and snug that she felt it within every fiber of her being. For a blissful moment, Lexa could not remember the burdens that sat heavy on her shoulders.

_“You have served the gods well, my little Amazon,”_ Gaea’s low voice reverberated like they resonated with every atom in the air. “ _You have been so brave, so selfless, but I must ask one more thing of you.”_

Lulled by the presence of Gaea, Lexa did not balk at the request as she might have any other day. Had she not done enough for the gods? Had she not sacrificed enough of her happiness to satisfy their needs?

 

But Lexa merely nodded, her eyes half-lidded in pleasure of blissful unburdened calmness. “What would you have me do?” She asked, voice soft and eager.

_“You have been the epitome of a selfless leader, one that history will remember. You have not abused your immortality. But trust my word, child, one day the throne will be empty. The gods must have their champion, and the Amazons must have a queen. Themyscira must continue to shine as a leading example to mankind – a community ruled by strength and governed by peace.”_

Lexa tilted her head, confusion marring her peaceful state. She had been under the impression that she was destined to rule Themyscira for eternity, yet Gaea seemed to indicate otherwise. Was there another future waiting for her beyond that of what the Gods promised, or was Gaea implying a far more sinister demise? Lexa’s thoughts raced to Clarke, her breath quickening at the thought of abandoning her again. She couldn’t let that happen, she _wouldn’t._

 

A sudden rush of comfort washed over her, and Lexa let the Mother of Creation sooth away the nightmares that were spiraling around her.

_“I ask that you give me a child, Lexa. A child that was prophesied to lead mankind into a new age of greatness. Do this for me, my dear daughter, and you shall have the peace you seek with the ones you love.”_

_  
_ “But how?” Lexa breathed, her mind stuttering to comprehend the Goddess’s command. “We…Clarke and I, we have not the means.”

 

_“This child will be like none other. She shall not be born of mankind, and she shall carry none of their burdens, their selfishness, or their anger.”_

From the surrounding fog, wisps of cloud condense around Lexa. It grew and grew, nearly solidifying until suddenly, there was a baby before her. Curled and asleep, the child hovered before Lexa, who remained frozen in shock and anticipation. She child was asleep, but it fidgeted, letting out the slightest whimper from pursed lips. What a wondrous sight, what a terrifying, miraculous sight. Lexa had nearly forgotten the sound of a child’s soft breath, her eyes wide and burning upon seeing a child before her, so close, so real… _so_ real she could almost touch it.

 

“ _She will be as beautiful as Aphrodite, as wise as Athena, as swift as Hermes, and as strong as any god. She will lead us, gods and men alike, to a new dawn.”_

Lexa reached out with a trembling hand, her shaking fingers drawn toward the sleeping babe. She scarcely dared to breath, unwilling to disturb the miracle before her. Before her fingers could brush against a smooth forehead, the child dissolved like wet sand in water, all essence of her washed away with the tide. Lexa gasped, a sudden pain lancing across her chest more sharply than a sword would through her armor.

 

Gaea’s spirit immediately embraced her, soothing her suddenly racing heart and quieting her terror. Lexa suddenly felt the urge to sob, her cheeks already wet with tears that had slipped unknowingly from wide eyes. She didn’t know that she had wanted this, but now the want was aching so deeply in her core it was as if it was etched into her bones. Lexa let out a wet gasp as she tilted her gaze upward pleading, _praying_ , for a way to make this ache go away. With the caress of a soft warm wind, Gaea came to her, offering salvation in the words of a drifting farewell.

_“Form her from the pliant clay and I shall breathe life into her, for she will be a true daughter of Earth, a true daughter of Amazons. And she will accomplish_ wonders _.”_

~*~

 

 

 

Lexa surprised even herself when she told Clarke the morning she awoke from her dream. Well, _told_ perhaps was the wrong word. Lexa had jerked awake, overwhelmed and panting with wet cheeks staring wildly at Clarke, who hovered above her with concern swimming across her face. A hand had rested gently on her cheek swiping at salty tears while the other gripped tightly onto her bare shoulders. Reassuring embraces and sweet nothings comforted Lexa. It was with lips pressed against the beating pulse of Clarke’s neck that Lexa mumbled how she’d had a dream, that it was different from the others, that the dream held promises and futures she had to share with Clarke.

 

Lexa could not bring it in herself to tell Clarke the details. She could hardly come to terms with them herself – that she had been visited by the most primordial being known to mankind, that she was offered an impossible gift, that both she and Clarke might have a future they had not dared to want before. But Lexa had promised Clarke she would tell her everything, in due time.

 

For nearly two weeks, Lexa perseverated, ruminated, agonized over the details of her dream, the meaning behind Gaea’s words, and the way to tell Clarke of all of this. Lexa did not think she could ever be ready to tell Clarke, but the look she saw in her eyes – the worry etched across every gaze, the hurt that grew day by day as Lexa continued to shy away from what really happened – was something Lexa could not longer bear to continue.

 

So she told her, with simple words and even simpler explanations. Lexa should have known really, how easy it turned out to be. Truth and honesty came so easily to her and Clarke, it should not have surprised her how fluidly the words spilled from her. She told her everything – the hazy dreams of the past few months, Gaea, the prophecy, the baby. No moment was left unsaid, no diluting or euphemisms added to collude the truth.

 

And here she was, sitting before Clarke, the silence growing now that Lexa had nothing more to say. With every passing breath, the anxiety brewed increasingly in her chest. Her eyes flitted worriedly between the worryingly stunned face before her and the discomforting buzz within her that extended all the way to her fingertips.

 

An infinite amount of time passed by within seconds, and when Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, blinked a few times, and took a deep breath before looking at Lexa, Lexa felt as if her world were balancing on the edge of a knife.

 

“Is that who you’ve been dreaming of all these months? Gaea?” Clarke’s voice was quiet, softer than Lexa expected. The warrior worried her lip at the undecipherable tone. She shook her head.

 

“Not in the beginning, and even later it wasn’t apparent that I was dreaming of her specifically. She only spoke to me directly that night.”

 

Clarke glanced up at Lexa and saw how her hard mask had crumbled to reveal apprehension and fear. Blue eyes softened. Clarke leaned forward to place her hand on top of Lexa’s, curling around long fingers in a comforting grip. Clarke stared mutely at their intertwined hands as she rubbed a thumb up and down calloused knuckles. The silence continued to grow until Lexa could no longer bear it.

 

“I-”, Lexa swallowed, words stumbling over the frantic beat of her racing heart. “I know that my life has never been my own, and I know you chose a similar fate when you chose me.”

 

Lexa squeezed the hand in her grip, eyes studying the details as a familiar guilt settled in her gut.

 

“Clarke, I am Queen, and because of that I can’t be what I long to be with you. And what I long for is to be yours, completely and forever, just as you deserve. Yet that has been impossible under our circumstances.”

 

Lexa glanced up to meet Clarke’s gaze and was relieved to see her staring back with soft understanding. She took a breath that settled deep in her gut.

 

“But…I can give you this – a child, something wholly ours to love and protect. I may have my people, Clarke, but this child, she will be ours, she will be _yours_ , to love and cherish completely. Perhaps…perhaps she can give you the kind of love that I can’t give you at this moment.”

 

Clarke stilled beside her at her words.

 

“Only if you want it,” Lexa added hastily in her worry, glimpsing at the ground as if to steel herself for Clarke’s response. “Gaea did not require an immediate action to her words. Whatever is your will, Clarke, I will obey it.”

 

Clarke sat quietly beside her, her expression nearly unreadable save for the rush of thoughts flashing across sapphire eyes and the growing furrow in her eyebrows. There was hardly a twitch of a muscle in Lexa’s body, her entire being hyper focused on every minute reaction from her lover. With every passing second, Lexa felt dread creep up her spine.

 

Perhaps she had asked too much of Clarke. A child was not something to be thought of lightly, and to essentially force that upon Clarke was the last thing Lexa wanted to do. Lexa thought of how Clarke gave up man’s world for her, how she shared Lexa all these years with the Amazons, how she spent over a hundred years with a sadist of a god to protect her. _Maybe she has finally realized that I’m not worth the sacrifice_ , Lexa thought, guilt gnawing once again at her throat.

 

Long minutes pass as the sun dipped beneath the horizon and the moon woke from its slumber behind the clouds. A squeeze of her hand brought Lexa out of her quiet misery.

 

“Alright,” Clarke announced, breaking the silence as she made a move to stand up, “at least let me change into something warmer before we head down to the shore. It starts to chill after sunset.”

 

Lexa shot a bewildered look at Clarke as she let go of her hands and moved to find her cloak in the great wooden cabinet. Of all the things she expected, she wasn’t expecting… _that_.

 

“You…you don’t want to think about this any more?” Lexa stuttered, wide eyes still following Clarke as the blonde searched for a pair of boots. “I just revealed that I spoke to the Mother of all Creation, our intertwined prophecy, and announced the possibility of a child.”

 

Her protests were ignored as Clarke continued to riffle through the cabinets. Confusion and concern raced through Lexa’s mind as she tried to understand her lover’s state.

 

“You deserve to live your life the way you want,” Lexa insisted, getting up to follow Clarke as the blonde maneuvered into her cloak. “I don’t want you to feel burdened again by the fate I was given. We have time, Clarke, all the time in the world. You needn’t haste such an important decision.”

 

Clarke paused, her head swiveling around to look at Lexa with perplexed eyes. She looked at the Queen, who stood with proffered arms and distress etched across her lovely face. A wave of love and sympathy washed over Clarke as she straightened her cloak before slowly approaching the Amazon. Lexa’s eyes flickered across her face as Clarke stopped just before her, her lips parted in anticipation.

 

Tenderly, Clarke reached out to stroke her lover’s cheeks, living for the relieved sigh that escaped full lips.

 

“You’re right, Lexa,” Clarke reassured quietly, her fingers continuing her trace the curve of Lexa’s jaw, “all I’ve had is time. Time to think about everything that was, everything that is, and everything that could have been. But never once did I examine what I know and concluded that I deserved more.”

 

Clarke let out a soft exasperated laugh. Her eyes crinkled as she cradled Lexa’s face with both hands, her heart soaring at the way Lexa gazed at her with wide eyes filled with wonder and disbelief.

 

“Do you not know what you are to me? What you have given me?” Clarke breathed, her voice so soft and loving as it caressed over full lips. “Themyscira is not my paradise, _you_ are. I accept everything you are – the good, the bad, and the unknown. How many more millennia will it take for you to accept that?”

 

Lexa let out a wet laugh, brilliant green eyes shining as tears spilled over. She grasped at Clarke’s waist, letting herself be pulled down by Clarke to press her forehead against her lover. Little puffs of breath fell upon Clarke’s lips as Lexa struggled not to breakdown. “Oh Clarke…”

 

Clarke pressed a small kiss to the corner of her mouth and tasted the salt of a tear as it slipped through the seam of her lips. “I love you Lexa, and just as I never once hesitated falling for you, I do not need another second wasted on a decision I already know in my soul.”

 

Her own tears stung at the corner of her eyes, her heart throbbing in her chest as it threatened to burst with the immeasurable love she possessed for Lexa. “I will love this child not only because she will be mine, but because she will also be _yours_. She will have your spirit, your selflessness, your drive to protect all others. And I will love her because she is just as much a part of you as she is a part of me.”

 

“I -” Lexa squeezed her eyes as she let out a desperate sob, a smile so bright and brilliant spread across her face. “I don’t deserve you, Clarke,” she whispered reverently, her hands gently squeezing the curve of the blonde’s waist. She felt Clarke lean into her grip as hands steadied themselves on her shoulders.

 

“I want a child with you, Lexa,” Clarke affirmed, her voice sure and steady. “I want to have _our_ daughter.”

 

Lexa gazed softly at Clarke, a small smile accompanying her look of absolute adoration as she brought a hand up to trace across the angle of Clarke’s jaw. A happy sigh fell from the queen’s lips as if the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders.

 

“Nothing would make me happier,” Lexa whispered, staring at Clarke lovingly for a few seconds more before leaning forward to meet Clarke in a tender kiss.

 

Clarke hummed against soft lips, her hands grasping at the nape of Lexa’s neck as lips parted and chased after her. They let the kiss deepen, enjoying the feel of lips gently caressing and tongues brushing, too lost in the dance to care how much time passed.

 

“Hmmm, come,” Clarke sighed when they finally broke for air, their bodies still pressed flush against each other as hands roamed to caress anywhere they could reach. “We should get down to the shore. I’m eager to meet our daughter.”

 

Lexa chuckled as Clarke untangled from her arms and clasped their hands together to lead them out of the room. She pressed close to Clarke, wrapping her arm around her as she pressed her nose into blonde hair and breathed in. Her smile widened as a thought crossed her mind.

 

“Clarke, does that mean I spent all that time agonizing over my story and worrying about everything you deserve was all for naught, and you didn’t once try to save me from my suffering?”

 

Clarke smirked, her eyes twinkling in a way that made Lexa’s heart stumble. “Oh hush. Besides, I would never miss a chance at you pontificating. It does wonders to my self-esteem.”

 

A tired sigh escaped Lexa, earning a sly giggle from the healer as they made their way out of the palace, the moon hovering above them painting them in a halo of blue light as the waves called to them in the distance.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

The waves roared as they crashed into whirlpools of white foam and sand. Frothy water churn up the sand until it slowed to a crawl, stretching out a thin layer of crystalline glass across the shores before retreating back into the depths. The cyclical crescendo decrescendo of crashing waves pulse in hypnotic rhythm, beating life into the ocean’s siren song.

 

Time stretched unendingly here.

 

Cast in the blue glow of the full moon, the silhouette of two stark figures stared off into the deep waters of the ocean. They stood there as still as the time around them, the air around them heavy with anticipation and tinged with uncertainty. A soft breeze like a whisper from the Earth brushed against their skin, coaxing the thick cloaks across their backs to ruffle and dance.

 

Clarke turned to look at Lexa, her breath still catching in her throat when she saw the moonlight on alabaster skin, the striking angle of her jaw casting dramatic shadows across her neck, the sparkling in green eyes and the shimmer of moist lips. Her whole body felt aflame with love and nerves, and yet she kept absolutely still as if held under the hypnotic rhythm of the ocean and Lexa’s beauty.

 

“Here?” Clarke asked softly, as if speaking louder would break the spell of the moment. A small smile settled on Lexa as she nodded.

 

“Here.”

 

Lexa reached out to grasp Clarke’s hand, leading her closer to the shore where the sand was damp yet far out of reach of the tide. With far more grace than should be possible in heavy cloaks and shifting sand, Lexa kneeled down and sat on her haunches, gently tugging Clarke to follow. Clarke settled across from her, kicking up more sand than her lover did and busied herself with brushing off the excess sand from her lap to distract from the way her heart beat furiously against her ribcage. She glanced up to meet gentle green eyes, her own asking a silent question in the form of a worried quirk of her brow.

 

Lexa, as if she could hear the rapid thumping of Clarke’s heart, smiled reassuringly. Reaching out to clasp Clarke’s hands in her own, she coaxed them out of the haven of her lap into the space between them before slowly pressing their hands onto the sand. Clarke flinched at the cold dampness of the ground, her hands jolting as nerves ran wild across her limbs. Lexa squeezed her hands, thumbs coming to rub smooth circles across the back of her hand.

 

“Clarke?” She asked softly, her voice hushed and worried.

 

Green eyes shone not only with worry for her lover, but also with her own fears and trepidations. Clarke could see in those eyes that Lexa would stop this, would scoop Clarke away from the beach and disregard the gods, if she felt that Clarke wasn’t ready. Quickly, she shook her head and squeezed back, seeking to dispel that idea from Lexa’s mind.

 

“Okay,” Clarke breathed, taking in deep breaths in her nose and out her mouth. With every inhale she let the calm wash over her like a soothing balm. “Okay.”

 

“Okay,” Lexa whispered back, the decision in her voice now resolute and steady.

 

Ever so slowly, their hands moved. With meticulous care, the two women shifted the sand beneath their fingertips, gently coaxing out the basic shape of a baby’s head, her torso, and her little limbs. The sandy clay mixture held firmly, holding the shape of their beloved child as they formed her into existence. Clarke and Lexa worked in near silence, the weight of their task heavy on their minds.

 

Clarke cradled the babe’s head, her fingers nimbly forming a full head of curls before moving down to shape delicate eyebrows. Large sleeping eyes were carved with the expert precision of her nails, her fingers rounding out cherub cheeks. Clarke let out a small laugh as her hand dusted over the little ears given by Lexa. She wandered to hover over the precious shape of her babe’s lips, her heart warming as she traced over the sharp points of her cupid’s bow. Lexa joined Clarke as long fingers finished tracing out a strong but gentle chin. They gaze down at the sculpture, utterly enraptured and filled with a maternal love that threatened to overwhelm them. The quiet laughter that escaped them released a joy neither women could no longer contain.

 

A daughter! A miracle before their eyes.

 

Careful hands drifted lower to craft the rest of their beloved child. A plump tummy formed under the firm hands of the Amazon Queen, while the healer carved out curled fingers meant for healing and harmony. When blue eyes were drawn to the delectably chubby stomach, Clarke could not resist adding the slightest bump to the belly button so that it protruded ever so slightly. A warm glow settled in her as she fantasized about poking it silly and hearing her daughter’s laugh.

 

Lexa eyed her cheekily when she noticed the change, letting out a hearty chuckle. “If she does truly arrive and she finds out you gave her that - ”

 

“ _When_ she arrives, she should be grateful I gave her ten fingers and ten toes,” Clarke huffed, her fingers now preoccupied with meticulously tracing out stubby pinky toes.

 

The happy blush on Clarke’s cheeks betrayed her gruff tone, and Lexa cannot help but press her lips firmly to the lovely face and feel the heat flush beneath her.

 

Clarke’s protective fingers dusted across sandy cheeks as Lexa cradled the babe’s head, their touches already so full of a mother’s gentle love. With the slightest push of her fingernail, Clarke added the hint of dimples in the meat of the child’s fat cheeks. When she noticed Lexa eyeing her amusedly, Clarke quirked a bashful smile.

 

“It runs in the family,” she said almost nonchalantly, as if such an act was not as grand a gesture as claiming this child as her own. Her heart thumped heavy with emotion as she gazed at the form before her.

 

“She looks peaceful,” Lexa whispered, as if speaking louder might awaken her daughter even in her earthly state.

 

“She is clay,” Clarke dryly added, but her eyes are soft and full of wonder. “But yes, she does look peaceful. I hope she remains like that always.”

 

Lexa hummed agreeably, her thumb coming up to graze the apple of the babe’s cheek. “What shall we call her?”

 

Clarke gazed up into the midnight blue sky, the soft glow of the full moon illuminating the delicate features she and Lexa lovingly carved. She heard the waves in the distance dancing to the push and pull of the moon’s presence. The name came to her instinctually.

 

“Diana,” Clarke whispered, the name spoken like a prayer. “Goddess of the moon and hunt. A protector of women, the guardian of humanity, and patron of childbirth. We shall honor our child with such fruitful blessings. She will be named Diana.”

 

The brightest smile lit up Lexa’s face, her green eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

“Diana,” Lexa sighed, the awe and love already wrapping around the blessed name. “Princess of Themyscira. Our daughter.”

 

Lexa reached forward to cup Clarke’s cheek, bringing her in to capture lips in a passionate kiss. Clarke returned it just as eagerly, meeting Lexa with firm presses and gentle hums of contentment.

 

“I love you, Clarke,” Lexa murmured against open lips. “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you,” Clarke answered fervently. “With all of my heart, I love you.”

 

The two women indulged in the moment, letting the minutes pass as they worship each other with gentle kisses and even gentler caresses under the watchful gaze of the moon. As the rhythm of their lips slowed down to the simmer, Lexa pulled away from Clarke, awestruck at the stars shining in blue eyes.

 

The darkness edged deeper into the night. Sleep began to pull on their eyelids. But neither woman dared want sleep in fear of missing a sign of their daughter’s arrival. But as the hour passed, with both women cradling each other and circled protectively over their clay child, sleep called to them inexorably. With a heavy sigh, Lexa turned to Clarke, noticing the way her eyes were nearly shut with exhaustion. She leaned forward, inhaling the lavender scent of her wife as she brought Clarke down to the sandy ground.

 

“Sleep, Clarke,” Lexa murmured, her lips pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I will wake you if anything happens.”

 

Clarke mumbled in protest, but her words are lost against Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa herself felt the pull of slumber, but tried in earnest to resist it. Somehow in the exhaustion, both women reach out with a hand to lie protectively and lovingly over the little babe figure. Their minds drift, lured by the lullaby of the ocean to some faraway dream. And so they slept, awaiting the moment where everything would change, forever.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Lexa stirred to the first rays of sunshine landing upon her face. Sleep clawed still within her, and she barely had the energy to inhale a deep breath of ocean air. Her thoughts muddled, comprehension far foggier than usual as Lexa struggled to retain the memories from last night. She could feel Clarke’s slumbering presence beside her, their hands interwoven across the space between them, resting just above the…the…

 

A wriggle. The barest movement of something unfathomably soft and warm beneath her hand. With a start, Lexa shot up from the ground, sand flying all around as she turned to the space between them. She felt Clarke move alongside her, her wife similarly startled by the squirming motion beneath their hands. With bated breath, they turned their gaze towards the squirming baby underneath their warm palms.

 

The bluest eyes stared wildly at her mothers, sending a gasp through Lexa as if she’d been punched in the chest. The face of the most beautiful darling girl stared up at her, with pink flesh and soft warm breath replacing the cold damp clay she used to be. Pink chubby arms flailed out, fingers grasping in no direction until Clarke offers her finger. The brightest smile lit up her face when she felt the tiny fierce grip, tears welling in her eyes to spill onto her cheeks.

 

A baby. A beautiful daughter. The first child Themyscira has seen in over a millennium. Lexa looked at her even as her eyes become too filled with tears to see properly. She looked at the jet-black hair haloing the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, looked way blue eyes bore into her soul, and she felt…

 

She felt everything.

 

Love. Awe. Fear. Protectiveness. She felt every emotion that mere words were too small to represent. Instant, unconditional love coursed through her veins threatening to shatter all logic and sense in her mind that did not relate to the pink squirming mass before her. She was so small, so utterly helpless and fragile and perfect, and it spurs of a fury of maternal protectiveness in her chest. Green eyes seem unable to tear away from the sight of the miracle before her.

 

Lexa was crying in earnest now, happy sobs tearing at her chest as her face threatened to split open with the widest grin. She looked up at Clarke, noticing her wife in a similar state, and together they break down into ecstatic shambles. They launch into each other’s arms, hugging, crying, kissing, laughing, their emotions overwhelmed with amazement and disbelief.

 

“We did it,” Clarke says, voice choked. “Blessed be to Gaea, our daughter is here.”

 

“And what a beautiful daughter she is,” Lexa answered, her own voice shaky with tender affection.

 

A little grunt separated the two women as they returned their attention to catch blue eyes squinting and scrunched together. Pink lips pursed to let out a pitiful whimper before releasing a piercing cry, arms flailing and legs kicking in discontent.

 

Immediately, protective arms curl around her instinctively, balancing her head as they lift her carefully from the ground. Another squeal of displeasure sounded, at it shattered the hearts of both women cradling her.

 

“Goddess, I’d nearly forgotten the sound…” Clarke whispered, her hand coming to gently sooth away stray curls and sand from her daughter’s face.

 

With inexplicable joy threatening to burst her at the seams, Lexa let out a hearty laugh, tears staining her cheeks as she gazed down at her daughter with a new kind of love warming her limbs.

 

“Miracle…Oh, Miracle,” she whispered, bringing her face to brush lips against the softest cheek.

 

The winds blew with the chimes of mother earth and the choruses of blessings from Olympus above. Lexa breathed in the intoxicating scent of her baby, her eyes reaching toward the heavens in silent prayer.

 

“ _Wonder_.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's here!!! I hope you guys liked what I did with the delivery (pun intended). And yes, I definitely used some of Gail Simone's excellent quotes, and I will shameless use more in the next chapter. I must give credit where it is due. 
> 
> The story is slowly coming to an end, but we still have yet to reach the scene that inspire this whole story, so I hope you guys stick around for it! Up next - more Diana and her sapphic teen years, a certain mysterious visitor, and (hopefully!) a conclusion to the epic Clexa romance!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments fuel my soul! [Come scream at me about Wonder Woman and Clexa](https://almavivadreams.tumblr.com)


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